I LOVE YOUR COMMENTS!! You make me laugh; you make me cry! You reminded me for the gazillionth time all the wonderful reasons I treasure my girlfriends! So I thought I’d talk a little bit about girlfriends this morning with a little music to make us happy.
As many of you know, my connection to having best friends came very early in my life, probably the minute I noticed there was a difference between me and my four brothers; they liked snakes; they jumped off the roof; they broke their arms and got stitches, and they never wanted to play dolls. I had my mom, but my brothers had each other, and for a long time I didn’t have sisters. I had to get me some girlfriends!!
Here I am with my first two best friends in life — that’s me, second from the right, the one with bows on her braids; the blond girl next to me is Cynthia Wrightman who lived across the street, and next to her is Melody Gelinas from four houses down. We were in the backyard of our house on Park Avenue, in Long Beach, California, with two of my brothers, the one we called “butterball,” Chuckie, on the right, and Stephen (the genius) on the far left, and a bunch of their friends. My mom had been having fun, body painting the neighborhood with watercolors.
I lost touch with these two girlfriends; our family moved away when I was seven and although we went back and visited a couple of times, we couldn’t keep the connection. That’s what happens sometimes; things change, people move, life takes a turn and sometimes you have to start all over.
There are simple basic necessities of life, things we just can’t live without: food, water, shelter, clothing . . . (I was asking Joe this morning, “what are the basic necessities of life?” He said, “Food, shelter . . .” I could hear him thinking, his eyes twinkled, . . . “gin” :-)) . . . and one of my basic necessities is best girlfriends.
When I moved to Martha’s Vineyard from California all those years ago, I didn’t really stop to think what I was leaving behind. I was so busy escaping, I forgot that I was going to a place where I had NO BEST FRIENDS. In fact, no friends at all. It’s so easy to make friends when you’re a child, easy to do when you’re in school, but as you get older, it becomes more difficult, especially if you work at home, aren’t married, and don’t have children. By the time I figured this out, it was too late, I had already moved! But even though I had left California, there was no way I was going to disconnect from my girlfriends!! I considered my phone bill for long distance calls to Diana, Elaine, Sarah, and Janet, to be just part of the “cost of living,” one of life’s necessities no matter how much it cost, like tea, or chocolate. They were my lifeline.
I didn’t know how to find kindred spirits when I first came to the island. It had always been so easy before. But now I was alone, without any connections. It was only several years later, after I was finally rescued by my darling BFF Margot, and welcomed back to the heavenly supportive world of tea-party-having, garden-admiring, tear-drying, wallpaper-shopping, soup-delivering, yard-sale-hopping, girl-party-having, shoe-admiring, old-movie-watching, lunch-dating, farmer’s market-going, road-trip-taking, TGIF-ing girlfriends, that I realized that I might have assimilated much sooner if I would have joined something, a quilting or knitting class, volunteered for something; if I’d worked with like-minded people, shoulder-to-shoulder, on a project so that friendship had a chance to grow organically. But I was shy and all alone and I didn’t know that.
Girlfriends aren’t a luxury, even though they feel like the biggest luxury of all! It’s been proven that women who lack support from other women are more susceptible to illness! We need each other in more ways than one. I started thinking of what I would have told my ten-year-old self about the importance of girlfriends if I could have . . . and wrote this for my book, Girlfriends Forever…
In your comments yesterday I noticed a few of you had recently moved, or were planning to move, and I thought maybe this would help.♥ Virtual girlfriends are wonderful (don’t we know it!); long distance best friends are easier to hold onto these days because of email, but still, not too much takes the place of two dear friends, eyeball to eyeball, having tea at each other’s kitchen tables, petting each other’s animals, talking-talking-talking, commiserating over each other’s sadnesses, celebrating each other’s joys. And let’s not forget, laughing our pants off!
You know what I’m going to do when my girlfriend comes to tea today? I’m going to play this funny song for her and then show her the page I did for my new book yesterday. Would you like to see it too? Here’s a little preview just for you . . . for my girlfriends, with a quote we all know is true . . . ♥
Ask me if I had fun painting this! Yes I did! OK girlfriends, that’s all, have a wonderful day!! And thank you for being my friends. ♥