Hello Everyone ♥️ . . . I’m baaaaack . . . with MUSICA!
I’v always thought of myself as a lucky girl because I was born with the happy gene . . . I’m the one that wrote:
That’s probably part of the reason I didn’t recognize the overwhelming feelings of loss that descended like a black cloud early in February and left me sitting on the couch, staring into space, wondering if I should go to the emergency room. I couldn’t even express the symptoms. What could this shaky, unmoored feeling of being perched on the edge of a razor blade possibly mean? I should have known, but I forgot. Twenty years ago in Girlfriends Forever I wrote:
How could I forget? This part especially ⬇️ . . . it sneaks up on you. Yes, it does. 
I’d been too busy with racing thoughts, deadlines, and worrying about the world to notice the black cloud swirling until the floor suddenly dropped out from under me. Yes, I did spend a lot of time worrying, but wasn’t that normal in this day and age? My purpose in life has always been to try and spread a little sunshine in hopes of changing the world. I had the happy gene! I counted my blessings! But the other side of my coin, I was born worried. Since I was little, I could feel the despair, no matter where in the world it was, and I worried about it. Don’t tell me not to, I can’t help it … I worry about everything from starving lost people to fish choking on plastic.
I cried to think of our isolated beloveds stuck in nursing homes with no hugs, and anguished about hungry, confused, innocent children left alone to fend for themselves. I lost heart wondering if the healthy, strong, and rich would ever care for the weak, poor, and vulnerable. Otherwise why did God put us here? Why do animals have to suffer because of us? I was disgusted with the sick adoration of money. These last years of turmoil and chaos, floods and fires, gunshots and death counts made me feel like what I spent my life doing didn’t matter. And of course, my mom died, and February was her birthday, my first without her. My dad was gone.😢 Too many sadnesses lead to sleeplessness and anxiety. I lost control of my brain and bad thoughts filtered through my dreams. I felt so alone. But, now I know I wasn’t.
One gray day, I found one of my best friends standing outside my kitchen window holding 
this sign in her hand. 😢 Of course, I let her in. The first person in our house in a year. Joe made us a fire, I lit some candles and made tea. She sat at one end of the living room and I was at the other. We commiserated about our moms, about the constant bad news, how awful it was for children missing school, how overwhelming it was. missing everything ~ we dreamed out loud about what we were going to do when it was all over. If it was ever over . . . the light at the end of the tunnel was still very dim.
I read in the newspaper that that people all over the world have been coping with stress because this dam-panic has been MISERABLE. The drip-drip-drip of bad news wears on us like a plague. Stress is too small a word ~ when your mental health starts affecting your physical health, it becomes much more than mere stress. And, if I felt like this, what about the nurses and doctors, the hospitals, and the families who had to deal with constant grief, would it ever end for them? I read about trauma. I knew it shouldn’t be like this.
My world looked like this. Hope had flown the coop.
I could not find the bright side. I couldn’t even write you. Something HAD to be done.
One day, sitting in my chair, wondering if I should tell Joe (I didn’t want to worry him) and ask him to take me to the emergency room, I said to myself, “What do people do when they don’t feel well?” I glanced over at the couch and answered, “They lie down and go to sleep.” So that’s what I did. And I felt a little better when I woke up. It gave me just enough energy to get on Google to find out WHAT IS THIS? I already knew, but I forgot. I had somehow gotten myself into this, and I learned from Google, I could get myself out. I read that if you are not sleeping well then you MUST nap. It’s not a luxury, it is a necessity. Your overall health depends on it.
And when the rain stopped we went for a brisk, wet walk through the woods and out to the sea. Every day. I turned off the news and turned on HGTV and watched everyone choose floors and faucets for their dream homes. I wallowed in the creativity of other people. 
Ommmmm . . .
I stopped eating lunch at my desk, and started eating it in front of an old movie. Where the music is wonderful, the rooms are gloriously romantic, and everything comes out the way it’s supposed to.
I stopped going into my studio and signed up for twice-a-week sessions with my girlfriend who is an acupuncturist. At first, I got there dizzy and unsteady and lay down like a buzz saw, hovering above the table about a half inch, holding on for dear life to the razor’s edge. But when Marjorie found the first point (she said it was the “Gate of Hope”) boom, I fell to the table all at once, became grounded and calm, like someone had handed me a teddy bear and a blankie. It was life saving. She said my “adrenals” were shot. Whatever that was. I put myself in her good hands and it’s been a huge help. At first it seemed to wear off after a couple of days, but each week I got stronger, the wearing off took longer, and now it doesn’t happen at all! I have a 2 pm appt. with her today!👏 Because I am committed. I have places to go and people to see. But more than anything, my Google research reminded me . . .
I started meditating faithfully once again, every day, about two months ago. When I first started, I pictured myself sitting on top of the earth with the stars, a lovely, quiet place to be. Something else that’s cumulative, one day of meditation is definitely not enough. It’s made a world of difference to consciously stop time for a little while and count my blessings. And find, once again, that within each of us is everything we need, bravery, wisdom, clarity, gratitude, peace, healing, God. I made up my own mantra: I say an affirmation such as, I am happy, or I choose health, and at the end of each affirmation, I add “Because every cell of my body is bathed in the creative light and love of God.” It’s heaven in there. My mom and dad visit.💞 And it’s making me well . . .
If you’ve never tried meditation, or if it has seemed too hard (another word for meditation is prayer🙏), you might enjoy reading about the different kinds of meditation. My favorite is “guided” meditation . . . it keeps your mind from wandering in the most wonderful way. You can find so many guided meditations on Youtube . . . try this one, or this one. Or choose one for your own circumstances. I don’t know if I would have ever written my first book if I hadn’t found meditation. It’s so powerful. You have to do it every day, every other day is no good! Care for self comes first so we can care for others.💞
Being faithful to meditation reminded me of when I first moved to the island, feeling that loneliness and terrible loss of self . . . many of you remember me writing about discovering it in Martha’s Vineyard Isle of Dreams.
It was like that, burrowing in, rebuilding, getting strong again . . .
Relying on others to help.
And you know I have the perfect others!
He needed me. Sort of. Not really.😹 But I can wield a mean can-opener. It’s good to be needed.♥️
And this good man. My guardian angel. He needs me too.♥️ Every day I got better.
So then I discovered these little magic things . . . AirPods, wireless earbuds. You just put them NEAR your iPhone, push NO buttons, and they hook themselves up to your phone.😲 Then you sign up for Audible, audio books you keep on your phone, and voila! A new world opens!
You put one earbud in your own ear, and the other one in Joe’s.
And off you go, into the woods, with the blue sky coming through the bare branches, the clean cold air filling your lungs with Spring, and the luv-lee sound of an English Storybook in your ears as you walk through the woods to the sea and crashing waves, the salt smell, the seagulls call.💞 Joy of life. 
I’d read the book before, but Joe hadn’t ~ he loved it as much as me. Much more fun with him! Sometimes we walk all the way to the water with the book playing, then take out the earbuds, and walk back doing “book club.”
It’s even a better book that it was a movie, and it’s a WONDERFUL movie. In case you haven’t seen it. Set in 1930s England, published first in the 1940s … Delightfully written with every word a pearl, I Capture the Castle. We finished it yesterday and today we start a new book, The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson ~ everything personal and public about Winston Churchill during WWII. Another English accent to listen to while we walk! ♥️
Other “words as pearls” arrived this winter, beautiful letters, kind emails, and concerned comments on this blog from Girlfriends, who somehow knew, even though they didn’t really, and worried about me, and sent love.💞 Inside the watercolored rose Ann B. painted, she wrote, “Now abideth faith, hope and love, these three, but the greatest of these is love.” One girlfriend (Ellen I.) wrote, “The journey of life has ups and downs, not always easy to see the silver linings, the positives…the blessings… there’s always something to be thankful for.” Made me cry. See how connected we are?
I read that what we eat has a lot to do with overall health, even mental health, so I ate better . . . Mmmmm, split pea soup and beets. 
And after I meditated, and after our walk, and after I got home from acupuncture, it cheered me up to make ice cream sandwiches like flowers to take to friends.
And I made some for us . . . (This easy delicious recipe is in the 30-year anniversary edition of Heart of the Home ~ this time I made them with ginger cookies, pickled ginger, coconut ice cream and ground black pepper ~ yum!)
I put flowers in my tiny vases, one of my tried-and-true cures for whatever ails you.
I felt better every day, and finally cleaned the kitchen . . . the red holiday rugs were getting on my nerves, I needed to lighten up, so I changed them out for summer blues and brought down my bluebird lampshade. We opened the door and let in a little fresh air . . .
I washed everything in the open dish cupboards, made it all shine . . . stood there and stared at it, proud.
Pride doesn’t have to be big, even little pride can help . . .
And noticed with joy that the sun was getting stronger and our days were growing longer…👏
We watched a wonderful movie called Two Popes . . . A must see! THIS is what I call HOPE! You don’t have to be Catholic, or even religious to love it! It’s a people movie.♥️
I finally finished the 2022 calendars! I worried I would NEVER get them done, but I did! God and nature and the whole world and the stars too. . .
I sewed a little heart on this guy to give him as a get-well gift . . . couldn’t tie off the thread, had to leave a long one hanging inside of him . . .
This happened in the garden . . . so I brought some in …
Snow drops, the first flower to bloom here on the Island… they come up even in the snow! If that’s not a vision of hope I don’t know what is.
Then this happened in the woods . . .
And this happened in the kitchen . . .
And I made an Easter Cake . . . Domesticity always comes to the rescue with me.🌼 And you can’t beat domesticity in the spring. It’s the best! Spring cleaning to a new beginning.
But the most wonderful of all . . .
I got my first Covid-19 vaccine ON my mother’s birthday, and the second one on the first day of Spring, and then, on Easter Sunday, I was fully immune (as immune as we can be).🌺 They gave me this card and
I felt like it was an “I voted” sticker! Talk about proud! Wanted to wear it on my coat! Most of our friends were in the same boat at the same time. We have experienced our first hugs now.💞 I CRIED when I got my first shot. I didn’t expect to cry but I was suddenly filled with gratitude for our amazing medical people and scientists who worked so hard to save us from 
another year of this misery. The joy at our hospital where they gave the shots was palpable. Everyone felt it. We’ve lost so much, but my heart tells me there’s been a shift. I even heard people talking on TV about money not being everything this morning ~ that made me very happy. Maybe, just maybe, we have learned something. Maybe we are coming out stronger, better, more loving.🙏
We celebrated on the first nice day with a picnic with the swans . . . and then we went home and took a nap. And each day I felt better and stronger and more “myself” than the day before . . .
We planned our first Dahlia garden. Joe has always wanted one.
Soon it will be time to plant. It’s going inside the picket fence on the right side of the gate (in the center), so we can see the tops of the flowers peeking over the fence from the kitchen window. This year I want to fill that garden with
SO MUCH B E A U T Y!
Dahlias, forget me nots, roses, foxgloves, Shasta daisies, white cosmos, hollyhocks, and pink petunias. You’ll see. I’ll take pictures! Don’t we all feel this way? A new start! Sweet Peas, my favorite flowers, don’t grow well here on the island . . . but if they do where you are, be sure to look for the variety “Cupani” … I hear they are more resistant to heat, and have the very best fragrance . . . and with a sweet pea, that is saying something!
Isn’t this gorgeous? We ordered our dahlias on line from Swan Island Dahlias at www.dahlias.com . . .
We chose big ones and little ones, but mostly ones that make good cut flowers . . . we got fifteen varieties . . .
Hard to narrow choices since there are over 50,000 different varieties! Some people make a life’s work of them, finding all the rare ones … I watched a wonderful Easter Special about a Dahlia Garden in England belonging to a couple who’ve been growing them for twenty years . . .💞
I managed to make us some new cards . . . the always-needed festive Birthday Card ~ and Friendship for saying goodbye to a PANDEMIC . . . 
And these rainbow stickers! You’ll find them and the cards, along with some new sewing kits here.
And a new garden banner from our luv-lee creative girlfriend Janie! Look at that envelope, isn’t it darling? She is so good, we never know what new idea she will have!♥️
We got in a few more of my dishes including these sweet little ring plates.🌺
And two pages of bookmarks, decorated on both sides, you can cut out and give to your friends . . .💞
And this is why I feel so much better . . . the grand essentials of happiness . . . Check ✔️! And yes I’m about to start designing us some new cups! I’m ready! But I saved the best for last . . .
Loving our Country Life Magazine . . . giving us hope for the future! It’s time to start dreaming! So let’s have more MUSICA, one of Queen Elizabeth’s favorite songs . . . all about dreaming . . .
So, if all goes well . . . Joe and I will go WEST to California via AMTRAK, in our room with a view, this fall to see everyone … Oh the hugs. I can’t wait. Big dream. I hope this world cooperates and doesn’t mess with us!
And then, oh yes . . . We made reservations to sail to England on the Queen Mary 2 next year, on May 1, 2022, God willing and the variants don’t rise! And wouldn’t it be fun if this time you come 
along with us for real? Think about it! You wouldn’t have to be crushed into suitcases and smuggled aboard and dance in the dark this time! Because yesterday I called Cunard to see what I could do to make that happen.♥️ I spoke to Susan Gannon and she said if you’d like to sail with us next year, you can call her at 800-468-7752 ext. 41663 and she will personally help make your reservations. You will have to mention that you’re part of the Susan Branch Girlfriends group, give them this group number: TNM, and voyage #M211 so they can keep track of us as a group . . . If there’s enough of us they’ll have special 
group pricing and other surprises. They had to cancel their entire spring and summer itinerary this year, which means that many of the people that didn’t get to go this year, will be going next year. So think fast! You would have to make a deposit, but you can cancel with complete refund if you do it by December 31, 2021, this year. It would give you extra time to decide for sure. Susan can answer any questions you have and you can call her anytime. This isn’t a tour like the kind you read about, where you have a “tour guide.” It’s more like one of our picnics, only on the ship!🚢 
2022 Should be an especially WONDERFUL year in England 🇬🇧 ~ probably dancing in the street due to freedom from pandemic🤞, but 
that’s not all . . . bunting will criss-cross every city and village as the whole nation celebrates the Platinum Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth! It’s the first time ANY British monarch will have celebrated 70 years on the throne! She will decree an additional “bank holiday” … an extra four-day weekend for everyone! (How’s that for power to make joy?🎉) I’m sure there will be fireworks, probably in June! We were there for her Diamond Jubilee in 2012, and I can tell you, Brits know how to celebrate their Queen! Every kind of ship and boat came from all over the Commonwealth to London to honor her in a Parade on the Thames! Even rowboats and the “Dunkirk Little Ships” were there. It was beautiful.⛵️
I stopped writing here, and when I did, I heard the sad news that Prince Philip had died at age 99.😢 The Queen’s rock. Macho man who took on the job of guardian angel.💖 A reminder that we’re losing the Greatest Generation. The Prince is a huge piece of the past, our history too, the history of the world. 
The Queen has “carried on” through thick and thin, through wars and Prime Ministers, natural disasters, and even worse disasters, the man-made kind ~ through every sort of challenge, always with Prince Philip at her side, but this one will be her most difficult of all, she must go it alone. I hope the UK spends all of 2022 celebrating their love.♥️ I hope they play this MUSICA . . . it was their song when they were young. Wasn’t she lucky to have the person she loved at her side for so very long for what I think might be the worst possible job in the world!?! Sending my deepest condolences to all my UK Girlfriends …
So out we go, it’s a good time for our walk with Winnie (just found out he took two baths a day no matter WHAT was happening! Even during his darkest hours. The ultimate in self-care. Love this man.) I hope you are having a WONDERFUL DAY and taking very good care of yourself💗… now, I will go add MUSICA to this blog, and voila, fini! Finally! Happy spring dearests!🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸 Talk soon!
Dear Susan,
So glad you found your way back to hope and vitality. In February, I heard someone on the radio say that the world was experiencing unprecedented challenge because all of us are in ‘late-stage pandemic’ stress. Winter, the official season of Seasonal Affective Disorder, along with everything that had happened in Washington, D.C., combined with late-stage pandemic distress contributed to my own dimmed mindset in February and March. Please know that you were at the heart of my healing. I have tea every morning in a Susan Branch cup. Bluebird, Isle of Dreams, Red Letter Day, the Garden – I even used the Happy Birthday cup to brighten one particularly difficult February day – and wonderful Jack create such vibrant brightness. My birthday will come in a couple of days and I will be sipping some wonderful tea in my proper Birthday tea cup.
With love and hugs, Jane
Dear Susan,
Oh my what an interesting post. Who knew our sunshine girl was going through a low point in her life. It just shows that even when your life is going so well there is a chance that those dark clouds of despair can dampen your ability to see the sunshine. You, my friend, were able to rise above those down days and return to be the Susan Branch we know and love. Good for you for realizing something was not right and finding a way to connect with yourself again. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, as it gives us hope during these trying times.
You have an exciting time ahead with your visit to your family in CA and your England trip. Enjoy those trip planning days ahead and continue to walk on the bright side💕
Thank you so much for sharing all this with us because it somehow makes it easier to know other people have this happen to them as well. And it’s good to know you got better/are getting better. Thanks for all the hope!
Susan, I’m so glad to hear that you’re feeling better. I’ve been a fan of your art, books and blogs for many years and feel like I know you a little bit, so I did sense that something was very wrong when we didn’t hear from you. I also lost my mother last year (June 8) and it’s been a roller coaster of feelings, so I understand. Also, maybe there’s a little post traumatic stress from the events of Nov. – Jan? Put all that together with the pandemic and it’s bound to take its toll. Thanks for the reminder that it can sneak up on us, too, and to practice self care as best we can. I hope Spring and Summer bring more joy to all of us!
For me, yes. Jan. 6th, 😩. One day at a time.💞
Welcome back, Susan! ❤
Oh Susan, I was so worried about you. I kept checking online to see if I missed your blog. I’m so glad you’re feeling better. This pandemic has messed with our plans and caused us to make changes in our daily lives. My friends all talk about how happy and relieved we are to get our shots . Pfizer vaccines are made a few miles from my house. I hope soon we can travel again.
So glad Susan, that you are on the upward swing! It has been a hard year on everyone for sure. We need you, so take care! I am in prayerful mode practically all day and even all night. You are slightly younger than me (I’m 74) and lately it seems sooo many loved ones are suffering from serious illness. Even myself. All the ways you have been spending your time is a surefire way to help inspire us to do the same. Many blessings coming your way from Ohio for sharing your personal story!
Dearest Susan, You warmed my heart today; this is just what I needed to hear. This last year has been difficult but I think there is some hope on the horizon.
Linda
Oh Susan thanks for sharing this with us! It’s been so hard not being able to put things on our calendar to look forward to. So glad you are planning things now. We have been doing that too. I’m remaining hopeful and thanking God for the scientists. Love the idea of the dahlia garden. Can’t wait to see pics!
I am so sorry that you had such a difficult time recently, Susan, but I love how you found so many ways for self-care and are finding many lights at the end of this tunnel. May spring continue to bring blessings in abundance! I hope to see you when you come to California this fall. I saw you at Vroman’s in Pasadena a few years ago and that was a treasure of a day!
Oh, Susan….sending you good thoughts and a big, virtual hug! So glad you realized what was wrong and made changes to feel better. So many of us are in the same boat. We lost a year, and we don’t know what the future holds. Our church is a big help…focusing on contemplative prayer and meditation. It really helps. And you DO have the happy gene. It just needed a boost. I keep thinking of the line from my favorite book – “Where you tend a rose, my lad, A thistle cannot grow.”
― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden Keep tending roses ( and dahlias and snow drops…) and look for better days ahead. Blessing to you!
Thank you Susan…the sadness, the heartbreaking year, the lockdown and loss…we will never forget.
Many have had to dig deep to find the blessings, work our way past anger and despair…but we are strong because generations prior taught us that “We’ve Got This”.
So we find ways, big and small, we remind ourselves that we aren’t anymore entitled than others…that viruses don’t care who we are…it is time to reconnect with humility, gentle care, kindness, respect.
I was concerned that there was a void from your last blog, and thank you for putting it all out there and sharing…the human condition is fragile even for the optimist, that is OK “You Do Have This”
We owe it to all that was lost to do our best, because for no reason, we were spared.
Now live BIG…Love Large…Forgive when needed…and make the Universe Smile because we made it better.
I am so happy you are feeling better and have had both shots! It is so hard to be separate from the world to stay safe and not to get discouraged and down. The pleasure in gardening, nature and creating is so beautifully done by you and it is good to see once again. I missed your cheery voice but embrace the sadness for all struggling through this very strange and long travail. Hugs!
Dear, dear Susan. You spread such joy, even when emerging from the “dumps”. Thank you for being transparent and sharing your struggle which I certainly identify with. It helps to know others have similar struggles. And thank you for the tips on conquering these awful feelings. Sending virtual hugs to you, Joe, and sweet kitty.
I loved, loved, loved this post. It is just what we need.
Me too! 💝
Dear Susan,
I am happy to hear you are on the mend with a good number of people to guide you back to your happy self. I am in my early 70’s and lost my immediate family in the past 10 years. I was lucky that my niece was living in England at the time and I was retired from the airlines and was able to visit her 7 times in three very rough years….it was such a wonderful distraction being with her, her wonderful husband and children and visiting the beautiful countryside of England.
I know you are on the right track from your story above. I am just sorry you had to experience this lower than low and am in hopes you will recognize if you start to go down that path again. I think this past 18 months has been more difficult than we think and you are more the norm than the exception. You have cheered me up so many times I wish I could do a silly dance or stand on my head or make you some lemon blueberry scones….just something to help you feel better! A friend in Texas!
You just did! All of you, kindred spirits. So blessed. xoxoxo
I teared up and felt a little lighter for your insightful words you shared with us. Heart hugs are winging their way to you.
I am so glad you are doing better. Oh Susan, you can write your feelings and ours at this time in our lives better than anyone. In a really depressing time you make all of us thankful and hopeful for our world. I have been in the dumps and for my hubby & I watch old movies, western movies etc. to get a totally different outlook on the day just by turning attention to something hopeful. We have both gotten our Covid vaccines and do feel somewhat safe. But I have to wonder will be better totally safe again ? There are so many people without jobs and are struggling to make ends meet. We are lucky and have no worries on income, we are on S.S.. For us, we donate to North Texas Food Bank to help others not so fortunate. I am looking forward to when we all can feel safe. It can’t come soon enough for me.
❌⭕️ You’re making a difference, changing the world. That’s how it is, one person at a time. xoxoxo
Hello sweet lady. I’m so glad you’re feeling better. I truly understand the depression that swept over you, and I relate to missing your mom. I had to write, because I was reading your post and missing my mom too when I read that your mom’s birthday was the same as my mom’s birthday – Feb. 27! Oh, how I miss her every single day. She will be gone 3 years April 20th.
Prayer has made all the difference in my life, and it sounds like it has for you too. 🙂
Romans 15:13
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”
With love, Linda
I love you, Susan!
😘
Thank you for your honesty.
So lovely to read this. Glad you’re doing well in this crazy situation 🙂 It’s strangely comforting to find you’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed. I hope you and your loved ones continue to remain safe, and Happy Spring!
Susan,
You have done a great service in being open about what you’ve been going through.
You are certainly not alone and it helps everyone dealing with their own challenges to know that they are not alone, that a beloved kindred spirit has fought her own battle. Thanks for including coping strategies that have worked for you. I believe in the power of Guided Imageries or Meditations. Centering Prayer is a wonderful way to use these learned skills and talk to God.
And, speaking of God, may He bless you now and always.
Oh Susan, you are so inspiring, you found the way to heal yourself from within…Love and best wishes!!!
My favorite picture this post, was one of your kitchen. And through the window, you could see a lone bird perched at your feeder! I smiled! ❤
I have watched daily for your post, and looking at twitter I could feel your painful heart – – this whole year is so far and away from my normal life. So very glad to hear you are climbing up – – – Courage Dear Heart, you are never alone.
You are such a light. Such an angel. Sometimes, perhaps it’s part of the plan for you to feel lost, because, you have so many angels flying with you, and when you become grounded again, your able to capture in words and pictures what the rest of us are feeling but just cannot get a grasp on how to describe it. So thank you. With you around. There is hope.
Glad you are getting through this hard time. Thanks for being so transparent. It helps others.
Susan, you have never seemed stronger to me and you have given permission to countless others to recognize and confront their anxiety as a normal reaction to pandemic overload what with the many other events that worry us.
Thank You,
Valeria
I have missed your beautiful blogs so very much, Susan. You are the most wonderful example of creative joy, in your books and in your blog. I am glad you found your way back, a work in progress that you have expressed. And I hope for the future with you. Blessings and love and patience and that quiet re-blooming of joy to you. I surely understand every single thing you struggled with. Sometimes I think it’s at the end of of the stress when we can let go a bit, that we grow faint. We will prevail. Thank Goodness!
Susan – glad you are feeling better. The “damn-panic” has been very hard on all of us. Anybody who is the least bit sensitive is hit hard. I was very glad to see your latest post. Keep up the good work and look forward to your travels. I look forward to hearing more from you. Peace and Blesslings
Thank you for sharing Susan. It’s good to know you are seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. Such a difficult time for so many, your encouraging words will help.
Take care and look for the sun ☀️ ❤️
So sorry you were feeling so stressed and unlike yourself. Hang in there. Your wonderful spirit helps so many of us feel better; be sure to take care of yourself.
Hello Susan.
You have been an inspiration to me since the 1970s, when I used to cut your recipes from the Country Living Magazine. Your art work is beautiful, and your recipes were easy and fun. I started my 1st chemotherapy treatment today and read your, email for the 1st time in a long time.
Thank you for helping me to see the many blessings I have. God Bless.. keep sharing with us!
Oh my goodness, thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing with all of us. It is such a hard time. I’m glad you recognized what was happening. I am sensitive like you and feel things so deeply. I need to learn to turn the noise off more often. I am praying for you Susan and so glad you allowed yourself the time to grieve and that you are back. And by your beautiful letters, i see what a gift other women are to each other!! We can’t replace the snailmail letters or just giving a card of cheer to someone. You’ve inspired me to send something to my mother in law who spends so much time alone. Bless you and Joe and the kitty
So glad you are feeling well again. The “damnpanic” did dim the lights for a while, but now there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel. So many are getting vaccinated. What a wonderful thing our scientists and doctors are doing for us, not to mention that it’s free. Thanks to every American who pays taxes. It is a wonderful world after all! Here’s a little musica for you: youtube.com/watch?v=A3yCcXgbKrEu:
Love & hugs
👏👏👏💝
Oh Susan…I’m so sorry to read this! But, at the same time I’m happy to learn that you were able to look inside yourself and find what you needed to help you through. I knew something must be wrong when we hadn’t heard from you for so long. What a truly challenging year this has been. While most of us have been affected in some way by this terrible virus, some have suffered more than others and that makes me sad. You have such a loving heart and so I think you feel these things very deeply. You were feeling the sadness for everyone. Thankfully spring seems to have sprung, summer is around the corner, and I really think we are starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. Love to you, Susan. So happy you’re starting to feel better, and thank you for sharing all those helpful tips with us! 💗
Thank the good Lord you are back. I have worried about you and I am so happy to see you return to us. God Bless!
~ Dearest Susan~
I am so happy for you feeling better !! Know Jesus loves you and is always right by you, he knows your journey even before it happens to you!! You were definitely missed by me, by all of your girlfriends here !
Hugs,
Paula
Missed you as April began .So glad you are feeling better! You are so important to all of us! Is there anything we can do that will help you feel our love and gratitude for you and your wonderful, vulnerable so down to earth and beautiful work! Love you!❤️👏👏👏
You have no idea how many kindred spirits and heart friends you have lifted out of dispair with this beautiful, honest, and uplifting post. Thank you so much. Onward!
You have been so missed! I questioned on Friends of SB ……just felt in my heart something wasn’t right.so happy to have you back and feeling better. We celebrated our dear friends 50Th wedding anniversary last night……first time to be together and hug!! It felt wonderful.
Happy Spring to you, Joe, & Jack…..🌷🌷🌷
I’m so glad you are feeling better! I was thinking about your email today and I was happy to see I got one! I love your emails, they always brighten my day! I have found not watching the news helps to feel better. I like being home, it feels almost normal. I don’t like going out to the store, hearing the announcement to wear my mask and stay 6 feet away from everyone. I feel like I’m in a bad sci fi movie. I know making a new garden in my backyard has raised my spirits. I also love to read to escape. And when I really want to escape, I go in my quilt room and work on a new project. I can’t wait to see your new cards! I know I’d like to send one to my aunt who I haven’t seen in so long! Hang in there!
Hi Susan, so good to see you had a new blog post up! Sorry you have had such a time this late winter and spring, but I am thankful you managed to get help and figure out what could heal the body and mind. It has been a horrible, horrible time mentally to cope with everything going on, especially fear of catching covid and having to stay home away from friends and loved ones so long. It has felt like it only got worse and worse, especially if watching too much of the bad news. It’s not like we want to totally shut out the news but too much is detrimental to our health in many ways. Plus you had a personal loss of your mother during this time, so sorry for you. There were times during this year and the past one it felt like the world was falling apart. Anyway, I am so glad you are so much better, and appreciate your being candid about how you have been, it will definitely help many out there who may be going through the same feelings. Hopefully with the vaccine being so widely given, we can all return to some kind or normalcy. I have both my shots and feel so much better, as does my husband have both of his, and daughter has the second to get. Praying more people will still see the need to continue with the masks and social distancing when out, but it is so good to see families able to hug and see each other again. It is good you are making future plans for fall and next year, very positive thinking and of course something to plan and look forward to. You know we will be following you on your trips, as if we were hiding in your suitcase and there, because you describe everything so well we always feel like we are there with you. I like your idea of a dahlia garden, I used to have some nice ones but may have to buy some replacements if I want some this year. They are a beautiful flower and come in such a variety of colors. Continue to take care of yourself, you are such a bright positive voice whether on twitter or certainly here in your blog. Lots of virtual “Hugs” to you and Joe! Bye for now, Barb
Susan I am so glad to see you are back. I knew something was wrong but did not know what! I hope you continue to feel better. I had a mastectomy but did not need any radiation, chemo or even tamoxifen! If that is not God answering my prayers then I don’t know what is. It is a rough year but God wants us to present our worries to Him. So let’s do just that! Rejoice!
♥️ ♥️ ♥️! Susan, you bring SO much joy and hope to others, sometimes we need to refill our own reservoir. Thank YOU for being a bright spot in my day. Every day, find something to be joyful for and proud of, no matter how small-these are words given to me by a counselor that is helping me through some tough times. Stay safe! ♥️
I have been wondering why no recent blog post……..thank heavens – you’ve been feeling a lot like the rest of us!
Beautiful and truthful words you have written, my head kept nodding in agreement while I was reading.
We’re all here, together, being hopeful and encouraging girlfriends! 💖
Dearest Susan,
Soooo glad you are feeling a bit better and soooo thankful that you are transparent and humble enough to be real with us. I have been feeling the very same way. Lost my dear daddy in December, clearing out his things, not able to gather in California for a memorial until May if we are lucky… all the sadness and darkness in the world. I think empaths feel these things deeply and to our detriment. To feel better I too have been cooking and baking (for an inner city ministry) joined a prayer group, and plan to walk daily, but have only gone once a week. (not enough) Thank you for speaking it out and causing the shame of struggle to run away, leaving us with the sunshine that is soon to come again. God bless you sister.
Am so happy❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️You are feeling better…. the blog is glorious.
Linda from Gainesville
My cousin and I are going! So thrilled ❤️
So very glad to hear from you. I was really worried and I know exactly how you felt.i went through the depression too and my wonderful husband made me go out for rides and to the supermarket very early when no one was around because he knows I love going to shopping. Then we would watch Hallmark channel that kept on playing Christmas movies way after Christmas. And I gradually came out of it with the help of chocolate. The best mood raiser.but it did take months of me not wanting to do anything and not being interested in anything . So glad you’re better. I am too and have had my two vaccinations too and hugged my sister for the first time in a year. Sooo good.
Lovely to hear from you Susan and I am so glad you are feeling better. It is so hard sometimes to not let the turkeys get us down! We have had glorious weather here in Oregon the last week or so and it feels so good! Your dahlia garden will be beautiful, I will look forward to pictures. I live about 30 minutes away from the Swan Island Dahlia Farm and have toured it in years’ past. It is stunning. We, too, are now fully vaccinated and I felt like dancing a jig when I got mine! Enjoy your Spring and here’s hoping to a world that is slowly getting brighter all the time xoxo Becki
So happy to see you back! While I only know you through your books and blog, I was getting very worried about you and yours! Sorry for what you were going through and I can say I relate! Last summer was my “dark season”…so glad you’re feeling better every day and found such wonderful coping strategies. I will be checking out your meditation links. Here’s to the hope of spring and some normalcy for us all! Welcome back!!!!
I know exactly how you feel. We are elderly and have been home bound the last year. Be-
Cause of our age and husbands health problems no one could come in our house. I miss
Our daughters and husbands and grandchildren so much that I have cried at least once every day. We are now vaccinated and one daughter has to get her last shot and we will be able to
Get together for Mother’s Day. So I know how you feel. Loved you letter. It gave me a lift.
You are amazing. Thank you for sharing your TRUTH! Those of us who have been in the “slough of despond” can deeply relate. It’s always important to be your whole self. Then to ask for help, to seek it if you have to… It’s part of the human condition and we’re each a little part of it.
So, darling Susan, may healing happen — to you, to us, to the whole world.
Much love,
Jennifer
Blessings dear heart. You are a strong woman and I am so proud you turned yourself around ! I felt so many similar feelings of sadness and despair but somehow managed to wake up everyday and put one foot in front of the other. Have sworn off dessert for a bit ! Spring is finally here , and I am ready ! Thanks for sharing. Hilary
This blog has given me such a burst of energy! You defined so much of what I have been feeling. I didn’t understand “why now” when we are starting to see light at the end of the tunnel. I do now. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I had lunch today with good friends, in a lovely garden setting, and I’m spending the night at my girlfriends house and going to the Huntington Library next week. Plus, hugs from my granddaughters on Easter were worth their weight in gold.
I did miss you and had wondered just the other day why I had not seen one of your beautiful messages in a while. I’m so glad you’ve taken some much deserved time for yourself. You reminded me that I must do the same.
Hello Susan,
Thinking good thoughts for your pandemic peace. I found mine by making my “Soup of the Week” using perfectly yummy recipes from your Heart of the Home and Vineyard Seasons cookbooks. This week it’s Wild Rice Nut Soup. You are wonderful! Happy Spring!
Welcome back. Thank you for pushing through, making healthy choices, caring for yourself while you care for others.
Dearest Susan,
Having read and benefitted immensely over the years from your beautiful
sharings, it is wonderful beyond words to hear from you again, and to know
you are feeling better ! Thankyou, Thankyou for Being just as you are !
Perfectly Human – perfectly Divine ! 💞😊🌹
Brave girl to share all this with us. So good you got both your shots. Here in Toronto the cases are higher than ever and we are all in lockdown, schools closed, and told to stay home except for essentials. Our hospitals are filled to capacity and patients are being moved (without their consent) to other hospitals outside the Toronto area. It’s really rather scary but we soldier on, try to stay home, follow all the rules, get vaccinated and hope there will be a turning point where new cases start to drop. Thanks for being an inspiration to us all, Susan. Take gentle care, stay safe, stay well, and happy burthday on Monday. Hugs, Elaine
I cried when I got my vaccine, too! What a miracle to get those vaccines produced and delivered in record time! I’m sorry that you experienced such a gloomy period but so happy that you got yourself out of it. I love reading your posts. Thank you for sharing your talents!
Oh Susan…thank you for sharing your heart and struggles. Many of us have been feeling the same through this recent year. I loved reading about all the positive changes you made to combat the other stuff. Good for you and us! I’ve spent the first three months of this year preparing for hip replacement surgery, going through all sorts of tests, getting postponed twice, and finally getting the surgery I needed a year ago on this recent March 23rd. I’m now ready to begin Physical Therapy and pain free for the first time in over a year. My life is starting anew and I’m going to follow your lead with positive changes from here on. Thank you for always encouraging us. Happy Happy Spring to you & Joe!
Susan, thank you for making me feel so not alone. I think many of us have been terribly, unusually sad but trying not to be. I appreciate your great suggestions on how to come out on the other side. I’ve missed friends, family and me! The happy, positive me. So thank you as always for sharing your heart with us, and for caring for all of us and making the world a better place….because you really do!!
Thank you thank you for your honesty and for sharing all you have been going through.
I am so sorry you had to go through this but you are not alone. Many of us have had similar feelings. We are coming out of a very dark time for our country, but there is light, “if we dare to be it”. Thanks for sharing. God’s speed in your recovery.
You have been missed! I had sensed something was a bit off-kilter! How beautifully you express what so many of us have been experiencing as well! Although I was out on errands this morning….masked and distanced….I found myself lacking energy to do much for the remainder of the day. Naps! Thankful for them! How exciting to have travel plans! It would be great to be on that ship next year! Wishing you all good things! Many hugs and love! Nellie
Dear Susan,
I felt like you were speaking directly to me about this year so far for you…..funny how this has sort snuck up on a lot of us. Thank you for your honesty about how you were doing and how you are conquering it to get back to being SUSAN BRANCH! I think as women we all tend to just say “I’m okay, just a bit tired today. I’ll be okay tomorrow.”. As caregivers and nurturers, it is our nature. You hit the right chord at the right time and I sit here tonight and think, this is me too, and I can get through this too, and I’m not alone and I can re-read this post and feel okay, life is going to be okay. Thank you, and welcome back.
Oh Susan! So glad you are on the path to feeling better! I, too, am thrilled the weather has warmed up a bit as my morning meditation is outside on our deck where birdsong is my mantra now! Sleep has been my de-stresser when my mind keeps me up at night. It is the best
medicine.
We girlfriends, I fear, unknowingly place stress on you to be our cheerleader. And you don’t disappoint BUT slow down, breathe, and be good to yourself again! This pandemic has upended all of us… .Nice to see those girlfriend letters, truly gifts from the heart,
from those who realize a healthy relationship is a two-way street, even in the Land of Blog. One can only be so giving, as you are, until, finally that “happy gene” is depleted, needs to rest, and practice a little self-care on a daily basis. Mind you, we are like two peas in that “worry wart” pod, girlfriend. I smiled, after much alarm in the initial reading of paragraphs, when you shared about your worries! My husband and I have the “save the world” gene! YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Plastic in the oceans is a pet peeve of mine, too!
I will end now, promising to practice what I preach, too, in not being concerned about running out of free books we offer in our curbside Sharing Library. Donations and now a sponsor, will help in my family’s outreach to our community!
No pressure! It all works out.
Thank you for your honest and brave sharing of your life in this unprecedented time
of worldwide chaos! You helped us, again, Susan.😘
Susan, even tho’ you were having a ‘down’ time, you still found a way to keep all of us uplifted. Glad you’re feeling better.
I just read your quote “….the world needs you”…..yes, and that means we need you to hide under covers, cry, hug kitty, lay low, stay quiet, turn off the news, because that is part of you, too. When it hits us like a ton of bricks – so much hatred still with us leftover from 4 years of hate, when it hits us that good people have gotten sick and passed, and all the stuff on the news that I don’t need to repeat here, I would worry if you didn’t withdraw for a while…because you are a feeling, loving, empath in the world. And soon you will truly know again “the world needs you”, because your step by step, person to person, heart to heart way of living changes all who know you…..My dog passed away during this unreal surreal time…..and now there is a little senior dog in Mexico needing a loving home…..(I have a virtual ‘home visit’ tomorrow to show my house, to show my backyard fence, and to get to know the adoption organization director and for her to get to know me)…there is an example of hope…..so know we love you, know that we will go through these hit the wall moments, the great ups and terrible downs…..just know we love you….
from Regina Seattle
Susan,
I was so worried about you, kept checking my email for your blog. I think that we should all feel what you did in some way to realize the gravity of it all! I got my vaccine in January as a health care provider and felt so profoundly relieved when I made my appointment, but even after the second shot that feeling didn’t last. Still so much to overcome. Still feels wrong to hug a co-worker who is like family even though we are both vaccinated. I kept watching Hallmark Christmas movies to take me to a happy place. We have to have learned something from all this!
Found that Dahlia video…..boy am I hooked now on dahlias!!!! In my opinion, they far outshine roses by a hundred miles!!!!!
Thank you Susan! Your Post came at the perfect time. What a trying time for all of us. I’ve found that exercise has been the cure all for me. I’ve made myself do Barre3 every day and it’s saved me. 14 year old daughter has found her release/meditation/save all in baking. And she is so good at it! So glad you all are doing ok and have trips planned!! Thank you again for your kind words ❤️❤️
You made my day and night,so very happy happy to hear from you…Thanks for Believing….
We are Easter people,resurrection is us!!!❤️✝️❤️ Thanks for sharing ….
No apologies necessary…..we’ve all hit the wall at one time or another during this pandemic. You bravely voiced what many are going through.
Our Kundalini yoga instructor taught us the ” May the long-time sun…” mantra years ago and I still sing it out to this day.
Glad to hear your “smiling voice” coming through the text. Springtime has a way of helping us renew and rejuvenate our bodies, mind and spirit. Making fun plans helps too!
Your words speak to the heart of so many of us out here! I’ve been worried about you… SO glad you posted, and so glad you felt comfortable enough to share so honestly. Hopefully the walls of the dark tunnel are breaking down for us all! Lovely that you’ve got vacations planned, how fun!! Giant big hugs for you, and here’s wishing for things to just keep getting better and better. 💗💗💗🌞🌈🌸🌼🌻🚂🚢
Susan, my heart has been in much the same place through this winter, with depression rearing its ugly head at times. As a nurse in a skilled nursing facility I have seen what this terrible virus can do. We have just begun to allow visits, but still very carefully orchestrated. It has been a tough year, but now that Spring is coming and I can see things coming up in my gardens, I am thankful that we have made it this far. I, too, am grateful for the vaccine and those scientists who have worked so hard to bring it to us. In the midst of the distress I have felt at times, I have just finished your book, “Isle of Dreams”, and it has brought smiles to my face many times. I have missed your blog, and want to tell you that you provide me with smiles and inspiration, and I am so thankful that you are back. It is exciting to read of your plans for travel. We hope to travel next year too, Lord willing. Please keep taking care of yourself. With love from across the country.
Thank you for articulating what so many of us are feeling. We have missed u to ou! xoxo
I KNEW something was wrong. I hadn’t heard from you since Feb., and that’s not like you. I was concerned. I was saddened to read what you had been through. Terrible. My first thought was if you had gotten the vaccine. Because it could have put you in a depressive frame of mind. Some people are having very strange reactions to the vaccine. I’m happy to hear you are feeling better now.
I love the new banner Janie has, and the new things you have created! Spring is here, summer is just around the corner, and a fresh new beginning is upon us! Yay!
I knew something was wrong. I hadn’t heard from you in so long. You are so precious to share such deep pain with us. I’m praying for God to wrap you in His loving arms and bring you back to health.
Love to you and Joe,
Bonnie Brown
Only you, dear Susan, can put a spin on despair/depression that calms me reading about it. Your deep compassion is felt in every word. You are a treasure to so many of us. Your despair really is evidence of your deep caring for all. Yes, we are all connected, we come from the same divine creator Spirit, which only knows love. We, as humans have created the duality of fear and love. Fear is our ego speaking, Love is the assurance of everlasting hope. The night may be dark, but the morning and the light always comes. Thank you for showing me the light… Happy Spring!
Precious you. Precious Joe. And Jack. Precious all the girlfriends. Acupuncture = goooood! Meditation = goooood! Naps = really, really good! Hugs to your dear self as you continue to rise from out of the valley. We are lifting you up. XOXO🌱🌷💚
Dear Susan, a brave leader and faithful girlfriend,
I am so glad you are finding your way out of the melancholy of Covid-Snovid Life. The earth and all its people have been feeling scared and scarred by this invisible force field that hogs the hugs and hides us behind masks.
Just as the garden hides throughout the winter, it goes through so many struggles as it begins to push its way to the sunshine.
I am a bit ahead of you on the timeline of life. But when one of my younger sisters passed away of a brain tumor in early March, I was dumbstruck. My heart ached, I overate and never enjoyed a bite; and there were no hugs to comfort – not even a cat!
I too began meditating and conversing with God and all the angels and guides and beings of the Universe that would listen. They helped. Longer, warm showers; less comfort food; and going out for the mail everyday without fail also helped.
I am the crocus that is ready to push out of the ground and raise my arms to the sun, yet I still have days when pushing through the earth seems too hard – so I take the day to rest. And the next day I pop those little arms up and out and can just feel the warmth of the sun and splash of the rain.
Today, you reminded me to sit on the side of the sink just as the opening from “I Captured the Castle.” The first two pages sweep me into the story – just thinking about them. I too have been listening to audio books – characters are our good and dear friends when we cannot be with the flesh ones.
As I head for an early night I want to share my pride in your leadership with you. I want to celebrate your returned vitality. I want to express my gratitude to you for sharing this season in your life with us; so we too can share our similar season with fearless bravery and courage.
You are a good woman, Susan Branch; a good friend; and I am so glad you are on the way to health, happiness and vitality. Let each of those attributes hug you, as I can’t. But know that I really do want to!
Wow, I’ve missed you! I’ve been worrying and wondering. It’s a huge relief to hear from you. Yes, even the brightest stars (that would be you) have been effected by the major changes in our lives. This pandemic has really been the test of our selves. I’m heartsick for the young and the old that were, I think, the most effected by it all. It’s been almost too much for the heart to bear. It was our own version of a war – the loss, the isolation, the uncertainty. It’s no wonder we all have fallen into a funk, exhausted looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. I also got very emotional when I got my shot(s). So impressed and so touched by the dedication of the health care workers. I’m so happy to hear you are taking care of yourself and feeling better. I put a sign up on my bulletin board months ago to remind me that good days would come again and who better than Maya Angelou to help me with that?? (Unless, of course, Amanda Gorman is available!) “Every storm runs out of rain.” Thank you, Maya, for reminding me that there is always hope. Sending you huge hugs, dear Susan. You’ve been missed.
Susan, I’m so sorry that you have had this depression. Praying that your spirits will continue to improve and you will be back to your happy self soon.
Blessing to you dear one! You are so brave to share your tender heart. I’m sending hugs and prayers for joy and the peace that passes understanding.💖💖💖
I KNEW something was going on! I just KNEW it! I could feel it in my bones that something was amiss. I am so sorry this snuck up on you and caused you, my dear faraway friend, grief and darkness. My heart goes out to you, Susan <3 I have dealt with an unknown level of anxiety, depression and panic this past year because of this "dam panic", too. I got too far inside my own head and lost my way. But thankfully, God, His gift of nature, kind & supportive friends/family and a wonderful doctor have helped me get back on track. I still falter every now and then….panic comes up out of nowhere and tightens it's grip around my throat…but it's getting better. And I got emotional, too when I received my second Pfizer vaccine! Tears of relief and memory of all the struggles, fears and worries of the past year. Hope!!! <3 I pray continuous healing and love over you <3 Continue to get well, dear Susan. 🙂 Better days are ahead and every day is a gift! <3
OMGOODNESS… I was so worried about you … so worried!! Thank God you’re back and sounding almost back to your lovely self .. sending ((HUGS))💕💝💕Alo-HA-HA..Evie in San Diego, CA
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
🌸🎂🌸
I cried, too, when I received my first vaccine injection. While waiting in line, I saw all the volunteers come marching in and take there places to greet and register us. That really made me cry. I am so grateful for all I have experienced. It has taken a terrible toll on us, on everyone of us – but I think – as you seem to – that very good things have and will come from it. Thank you for sharing your journey. Walking my sweet Jilly girl through the neighborhoods that surround my home this spring, I cannot help but believe the daffodils are extra bright and colorful. Life is good again. ❤️
Thankful you are living your life once again. Step out and be free. Life is too short to let it pass you by. Get your vaccine and LIVE!!!!
My loving, wonderful, foodie husband died February 15 from heart failure. I have never felt so alone. I have a terrific job at a health store, but at home it’s me and my kitties. I can so relate to what you are writing! Haven’t tried acupuncture yet, but I’m sure my adrenals are shot. I cam out of work today to find that a customer had hit and run the back of my car…..when it rains it pours.
Hello Dear Susan,
I’m so glad that you are feeling more like yourself again. I’m grateful to you for sharing what you’ve been going through because you are certainly not alone. Many of us, myself included, may benefit from your good example of self care. Wishing you and all of us well 💗 with love💗
I loved this so much! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, remedies, insights, etc. it’s been a hell of a year for sure.
Big fat hug to you Susan. I’ve been where you were and slowly climbed out of the mud with some of the same methods. Mind/body and spirit have undergone a lengthy and sustained level of grief, fear and at times hopelessness. Especially if you feel for others as much or more than yourself. I see you that way. It can surly take a toll on our mental health. Some days I feel like we should all sue “you know who” for emotional damages!!
What a long tunnel we’ve been in…thank God at times we had people, you included who called out…keep going! We’re almost there!
But some days it was just silent and we were exhausted and deeply sad. I Don feel exuberant yet…I feel cautious, I feel thankful,I feel priorities have shifted. A certain sense of calm..and a glimmer of hope. I’ll take a glimmer. Love you for your honesty and realness…joy comes in the morning ( or after a nap!)
Press on dear lady
K
I’m a single, 70 year old mother of 4, grandmother of 9. I had a job I loved, friends, family ,church. When this started a year ago I was let go from my job, my children and grandchildren quarantined , as did I. I’m creative person. Enjoy sewing, painting,crafting, reading. After 4 months I couldn’t concentrate, read, or anything else. I ended up dreading going to bed because I didn’t want to wake up in the morning. I hid it well. One day I called my Dr. and told her I was tired of wishing I were not alive. She set up some zoom calls with a therapist, and prescribed an antidepressant. It worked. A few weeks latter I felt good. What a relief . I’m glad you’re being honest about what you’ve been through. It was hard for me to admit I needed help, but I’m glad I did. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Dreading going to bed, I felt a bit of that too. Good for you for taking it into your own hands. ❌⭕️
What a sweet read of how we all feel. We all need to be working to rid ourselves of this dark cloud hanging over us. I too, have found healing in reading, digging in the dirt and making myself accomplish something every day. Wishing you all healing, peaceful healing sleep and joy in the coming days.
You will love The Splendid and The Vile! Well, anything by Erik Larson really.
Thank you for your honest words about where you found yourself and how you were able to dig back out. Have been wondering about you and was glad to hear you are doing better! I also have been slowly re-emerging and re-energizing to the best of my abilities. In fact meditation is next up on the agenda! One always feels so much when able to maintain that practice. Happy Spring and thank you for a lovely catch up. Here’s to a garden full of lovely sweet peas and dahlias!
I’m glad you’re feeling better Susan and didn’t wait too long to take care of yourself. It’s hard not to get bogged down in all the bad things in our world. We can help where we can, pray about it and leave it with God. We have been planning our daughter’s wedding (June 19th) and it is stressful. I stop and remind myself this is a good stress and a blessing. Tomorrow is her shower and I am giving her your ‘To my Daughter’ recipe keeper, filled with her favorite family recipes. I pray that the whole world knows the kind of love I have for my daughter, the kind of love that your mom had for you. What a better place this would be. ❤️Kathy