Hello Everyone ♥️ . . . I’m baaaaack . . . with MUSICA!
I’v always thought of myself as a lucky girl because I was born with the happy gene . . . I’m the one that wrote:
That’s probably part of the reason I didn’t recognize the overwhelming feelings of loss that descended like a black cloud early in February and left me sitting on the couch, staring into space, wondering if I should go to the emergency room. I couldn’t even express the symptoms. What could this shaky, unmoored feeling of being perched on the edge of a razor blade possibly mean? I should have known, but I forgot. Twenty years ago in Girlfriends Forever I wrote:
How could I forget? This part especially ⬇️ . . . it sneaks up on you. Yes, it does. 
I’d been too busy with racing thoughts, deadlines, and worrying about the world to notice the black cloud swirling until the floor suddenly dropped out from under me. Yes, I did spend a lot of time worrying, but wasn’t that normal in this day and age? My purpose in life has always been to try and spread a little sunshine in hopes of changing the world. I had the happy gene! I counted my blessings! But the other side of my coin, I was born worried. Since I was little, I could feel the despair, no matter where in the world it was, and I worried about it. Don’t tell me not to, I can’t help it … I worry about everything from starving lost people to fish choking on plastic.
I cried to think of our isolated beloveds stuck in nursing homes with no hugs, and anguished about hungry, confused, innocent children left alone to fend for themselves. I lost heart wondering if the healthy, strong, and rich would ever care for the weak, poor, and vulnerable. Otherwise why did God put us here? Why do animals have to suffer because of us? I was disgusted with the sick adoration of money. These last years of turmoil and chaos, floods and fires, gunshots and death counts made me feel like what I spent my life doing didn’t matter. And of course, my mom died, and February was her birthday, my first without her. My dad was gone.😢 Too many sadnesses lead to sleeplessness and anxiety. I lost control of my brain and bad thoughts filtered through my dreams. I felt so alone. But, now I know I wasn’t.
One gray day, I found one of my best friends standing outside my kitchen window holding 
this sign in her hand. 😢 Of course, I let her in. The first person in our house in a year. Joe made us a fire, I lit some candles and made tea. She sat at one end of the living room and I was at the other. We commiserated about our moms, about the constant bad news, how awful it was for children missing school, how overwhelming it was. missing everything ~ we dreamed out loud about what we were going to do when it was all over. If it was ever over . . . the light at the end of the tunnel was still very dim.
I read in the newspaper that that people all over the world have been coping with stress because this dam-panic has been MISERABLE. The drip-drip-drip of bad news wears on us like a plague. Stress is too small a word ~ when your mental health starts affecting your physical health, it becomes much more than mere stress. And, if I felt like this, what about the nurses and doctors, the hospitals, and the families who had to deal with constant grief, would it ever end for them? I read about trauma. I knew it shouldn’t be like this.
My world looked like this. Hope had flown the coop.
I could not find the bright side. I couldn’t even write you. Something HAD to be done.
One day, sitting in my chair, wondering if I should tell Joe (I didn’t want to worry him) and ask him to take me to the emergency room, I said to myself, “What do people do when they don’t feel well?” I glanced over at the couch and answered, “They lie down and go to sleep.” So that’s what I did. And I felt a little better when I woke up. It gave me just enough energy to get on Google to find out WHAT IS THIS? I already knew, but I forgot. I had somehow gotten myself into this, and I learned from Google, I could get myself out. I read that if you are not sleeping well then you MUST nap. It’s not a luxury, it is a necessity. Your overall health depends on it.
And when the rain stopped we went for a brisk, wet walk through the woods and out to the sea. Every day. I turned off the news and turned on HGTV and watched everyone choose floors and faucets for their dream homes. I wallowed in the creativity of other people. 
Ommmmm . . .
I stopped eating lunch at my desk, and started eating it in front of an old movie. Where the music is wonderful, the rooms are gloriously romantic, and everything comes out the way it’s supposed to.
I stopped going into my studio and signed up for twice-a-week sessions with my girlfriend who is an acupuncturist. At first, I got there dizzy and unsteady and lay down like a buzz saw, hovering above the table about a half inch, holding on for dear life to the razor’s edge. But when Marjorie found the first point (she said it was the “Gate of Hope”) boom, I fell to the table all at once, became grounded and calm, like someone had handed me a teddy bear and a blankie. It was life saving. She said my “adrenals” were shot. Whatever that was. I put myself in her good hands and it’s been a huge help. At first it seemed to wear off after a couple of days, but each week I got stronger, the wearing off took longer, and now it doesn’t happen at all! I have a 2 pm appt. with her today!👏 Because I am committed. I have places to go and people to see. But more than anything, my Google research reminded me . . .
I started meditating faithfully once again, every day, about two months ago. When I first started, I pictured myself sitting on top of the earth with the stars, a lovely, quiet place to be. Something else that’s cumulative, one day of meditation is definitely not enough. It’s made a world of difference to consciously stop time for a little while and count my blessings. And find, once again, that within each of us is everything we need, bravery, wisdom, clarity, gratitude, peace, healing, God. I made up my own mantra: I say an affirmation such as, I am happy, or I choose health, and at the end of each affirmation, I add “Because every cell of my body is bathed in the creative light and love of God.” It’s heaven in there. My mom and dad visit.💞 And it’s making me well . . .
If you’ve never tried meditation, or if it has seemed too hard (another word for meditation is prayer🙏), you might enjoy reading about the different kinds of meditation. My favorite is “guided” meditation . . . it keeps your mind from wandering in the most wonderful way. You can find so many guided meditations on Youtube . . . try this one, or this one. Or choose one for your own circumstances. I don’t know if I would have ever written my first book if I hadn’t found meditation. It’s so powerful. You have to do it every day, every other day is no good! Care for self comes first so we can care for others.💞
Being faithful to meditation reminded me of when I first moved to the island, feeling that loneliness and terrible loss of self . . . many of you remember me writing about discovering it in Martha’s Vineyard Isle of Dreams.
It was like that, burrowing in, rebuilding, getting strong again . . .
Relying on others to help.
And you know I have the perfect others!
He needed me. Sort of. Not really.😹 But I can wield a mean can-opener. It’s good to be needed.♥️
And this good man. My guardian angel. He needs me too.♥️ Every day I got better.
So then I discovered these little magic things . . . AirPods, wireless earbuds. You just put them NEAR your iPhone, push NO buttons, and they hook themselves up to your phone.😲 Then you sign up for Audible, audio books you keep on your phone, and voila! A new world opens!
You put one earbud in your own ear, and the other one in Joe’s.
And off you go, into the woods, with the blue sky coming through the bare branches, the clean cold air filling your lungs with Spring, and the luv-lee sound of an English Storybook in your ears as you walk through the woods to the sea and crashing waves, the salt smell, the seagulls call.💞 Joy of life. 
I’d read the book before, but Joe hadn’t ~ he loved it as much as me. Much more fun with him! Sometimes we walk all the way to the water with the book playing, then take out the earbuds, and walk back doing “book club.”
It’s even a better book that it was a movie, and it’s a WONDERFUL movie. In case you haven’t seen it. Set in 1930s England, published first in the 1940s … Delightfully written with every word a pearl, I Capture the Castle. We finished it yesterday and today we start a new book, The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson ~ everything personal and public about Winston Churchill during WWII. Another English accent to listen to while we walk! ♥️
Other “words as pearls” arrived this winter, beautiful letters, kind emails, and concerned comments on this blog from Girlfriends, who somehow knew, even though they didn’t really, and worried about me, and sent love.💞 Inside the watercolored rose Ann B. painted, she wrote, “Now abideth faith, hope and love, these three, but the greatest of these is love.” One girlfriend (Ellen I.) wrote, “The journey of life has ups and downs, not always easy to see the silver linings, the positives…the blessings… there’s always something to be thankful for.” Made me cry. See how connected we are?
I read that what we eat has a lot to do with overall health, even mental health, so I ate better . . . Mmmmm, split pea soup and beets. 
And after I meditated, and after our walk, and after I got home from acupuncture, it cheered me up to make ice cream sandwiches like flowers to take to friends.
And I made some for us . . . (This easy delicious recipe is in the 30-year anniversary edition of Heart of the Home ~ this time I made them with ginger cookies, pickled ginger, coconut ice cream and ground black pepper ~ yum!)
I put flowers in my tiny vases, one of my tried-and-true cures for whatever ails you.
I felt better every day, and finally cleaned the kitchen . . . the red holiday rugs were getting on my nerves, I needed to lighten up, so I changed them out for summer blues and brought down my bluebird lampshade. We opened the door and let in a little fresh air . . .
I washed everything in the open dish cupboards, made it all shine . . . stood there and stared at it, proud.
Pride doesn’t have to be big, even little pride can help . . .
And noticed with joy that the sun was getting stronger and our days were growing longer…👏
We watched a wonderful movie called Two Popes . . . A must see! THIS is what I call HOPE! You don’t have to be Catholic, or even religious to love it! It’s a people movie.♥️
I finally finished the 2022 calendars! I worried I would NEVER get them done, but I did! God and nature and the whole world and the stars too. . .
I sewed a little heart on this guy to give him as a get-well gift . . . couldn’t tie off the thread, had to leave a long one hanging inside of him . . .
This happened in the garden . . . so I brought some in …
Snow drops, the first flower to bloom here on the Island… they come up even in the snow! If that’s not a vision of hope I don’t know what is.
Then this happened in the woods . . .
And this happened in the kitchen . . .
And I made an Easter Cake . . . Domesticity always comes to the rescue with me.🌼 And you can’t beat domesticity in the spring. It’s the best! Spring cleaning to a new beginning.
But the most wonderful of all . . .
I got my first Covid-19 vaccine ON my mother’s birthday, and the second one on the first day of Spring, and then, on Easter Sunday, I was fully immune (as immune as we can be).🌺 They gave me this card and
I felt like it was an “I voted” sticker! Talk about proud! Wanted to wear it on my coat! Most of our friends were in the same boat at the same time. We have experienced our first hugs now.💞 I CRIED when I got my first shot. I didn’t expect to cry but I was suddenly filled with gratitude for our amazing medical people and scientists who worked so hard to save us from 
another year of this misery. The joy at our hospital where they gave the shots was palpable. Everyone felt it. We’ve lost so much, but my heart tells me there’s been a shift. I even heard people talking on TV about money not being everything this morning ~ that made me very happy. Maybe, just maybe, we have learned something. Maybe we are coming out stronger, better, more loving.🙏
We celebrated on the first nice day with a picnic with the swans . . . and then we went home and took a nap. And each day I felt better and stronger and more “myself” than the day before . . .
We planned our first Dahlia garden. Joe has always wanted one.
Soon it will be time to plant. It’s going inside the picket fence on the right side of the gate (in the center), so we can see the tops of the flowers peeking over the fence from the kitchen window. This year I want to fill that garden with
SO MUCH B E A U T Y!
Dahlias, forget me nots, roses, foxgloves, Shasta daisies, white cosmos, hollyhocks, and pink petunias. You’ll see. I’ll take pictures! Don’t we all feel this way? A new start! Sweet Peas, my favorite flowers, don’t grow well here on the island . . . but if they do where you are, be sure to look for the variety “Cupani” … I hear they are more resistant to heat, and have the very best fragrance . . . and with a sweet pea, that is saying something!
Isn’t this gorgeous? We ordered our dahlias on line from Swan Island Dahlias at www.dahlias.com . . .
We chose big ones and little ones, but mostly ones that make good cut flowers . . . we got fifteen varieties . . .
Hard to narrow choices since there are over 50,000 different varieties! Some people make a life’s work of them, finding all the rare ones … I watched a wonderful Easter Special about a Dahlia Garden in England belonging to a couple who’ve been growing them for twenty years . . .💞
I managed to make us some new cards . . . the always-needed festive Birthday Card ~ and Friendship for saying goodbye to a PANDEMIC . . . 
And these rainbow stickers! You’ll find them and the cards, along with some new sewing kits here.
And a new garden banner from our luv-lee creative girlfriend Janie! Look at that envelope, isn’t it darling? She is so good, we never know what new idea she will have!♥️
We got in a few more of my dishes including these sweet little ring plates.🌺
And two pages of bookmarks, decorated on both sides, you can cut out and give to your friends . . .💞
And this is why I feel so much better . . . the grand essentials of happiness . . . Check ✔️! And yes I’m about to start designing us some new cups! I’m ready! But I saved the best for last . . .
Loving our Country Life Magazine . . . giving us hope for the future! It’s time to start dreaming! So let’s have more MUSICA, one of Queen Elizabeth’s favorite songs . . . all about dreaming . . .
So, if all goes well . . . Joe and I will go WEST to California via AMTRAK, in our room with a view, this fall to see everyone … Oh the hugs. I can’t wait. Big dream. I hope this world cooperates and doesn’t mess with us!
And then, oh yes . . . We made reservations to sail to England on the Queen Mary 2 next year, on May 1, 2022, God willing and the variants don’t rise! And wouldn’t it be fun if this time you come 
along with us for real? Think about it! You wouldn’t have to be crushed into suitcases and smuggled aboard and dance in the dark this time! Because yesterday I called Cunard to see what I could do to make that happen.♥️ I spoke to Susan Gannon and she said if you’d like to sail with us next year, you can call her at 800-468-7752 ext. 41663 and she will personally help make your reservations. You will have to mention that you’re part of the Susan Branch Girlfriends group, give them this group number: TNM, and voyage #M211 so they can keep track of us as a group . . . If there’s enough of us they’ll have special 
group pricing and other surprises. They had to cancel their entire spring and summer itinerary this year, which means that many of the people that didn’t get to go this year, will be going next year. So think fast! You would have to make a deposit, but you can cancel with complete refund if you do it by December 31, 2021, this year. It would give you extra time to decide for sure. Susan can answer any questions you have and you can call her anytime. This isn’t a tour like the kind you read about, where you have a “tour guide.” It’s more like one of our picnics, only on the ship!🚢 
2022 Should be an especially WONDERFUL year in England 🇬🇧 ~ probably dancing in the street due to freedom from pandemic🤞, but 
that’s not all . . . bunting will criss-cross every city and village as the whole nation celebrates the Platinum Jubilee of Queen Elizabeth! It’s the first time ANY British monarch will have celebrated 70 years on the throne! She will decree an additional “bank holiday” … an extra four-day weekend for everyone! (How’s that for power to make joy?🎉) I’m sure there will be fireworks, probably in June! We were there for her Diamond Jubilee in 2012, and I can tell you, Brits know how to celebrate their Queen! Every kind of ship and boat came from all over the Commonwealth to London to honor her in a Parade on the Thames! Even rowboats and the “Dunkirk Little Ships” were there. It was beautiful.⛵️
I stopped writing here, and when I did, I heard the sad news that Prince Philip had died at age 99.😢 The Queen’s rock. Macho man who took on the job of guardian angel.💖 A reminder that we’re losing the Greatest Generation. The Prince is a huge piece of the past, our history too, the history of the world. 
The Queen has “carried on” through thick and thin, through wars and Prime Ministers, natural disasters, and even worse disasters, the man-made kind ~ through every sort of challenge, always with Prince Philip at her side, but this one will be her most difficult of all, she must go it alone. I hope the UK spends all of 2022 celebrating their love.♥️ I hope they play this MUSICA . . . it was their song when they were young. Wasn’t she lucky to have the person she loved at her side for so very long for what I think might be the worst possible job in the world!?! Sending my deepest condolences to all my UK Girlfriends …
So out we go, it’s a good time for our walk with Winnie (just found out he took two baths a day no matter WHAT was happening! Even during his darkest hours. The ultimate in self-care. Love this man.) I hope you are having a WONDERFUL DAY and taking very good care of yourself💗… now, I will go add MUSICA to this blog, and voila, fini! Finally! Happy spring dearests!🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸 Talk soon!
I appreciate you sharing your mental feeling AND giving solutions that are working for you.
All the best!
Dearest Susan,
Oh, my dear I totally understand what you went through…but you are SO right…meditation and prayer make a world of difference! Thank you for reminding us to make time to do this every day! I LOVE that you are going on the QMII again…she is a lovely lady, and truly a delight to be able to cruise on her, especially when your final destination is England. I hope you are able to get a big group together…I can just see you presiding over afternoon tea with all your friends! (Cunard REALLY knows how to do afternoon tea right!) Do let us know when you are coming to the west coast, and if you will be in the LA area so we can come and say hi! Wishing you health, happiness and lots of love across the miles!
So glad you are back to your blog. I have been so concerned about you and, honestly, I just figured something like this had happened with all that you have been through the past few years and the year we have been through. Just so thankful you are doing better now…prayers answered and I have been there and back so I know how it feels. The best news here is that you were able to crawl your way out pretty fast and have discovered some new things about yourself. You have improved the quality of your life, so maybe this is just a win-win. Love you and can’t wait to see some of the movies and read the book you mentioned. Find joy in the little things. And for what it is worth, this world is a better place because you are in it. My mother introduced me to your blog…she was not a computer person but my dad would tell her when a new blog had been posted and she couldn’t wait to get to his computer and read it. I am now like her and I have a lot of your books, too! She was also a collector of Gladys Taber books and I now have them. She was a member of The Friends of Gladys Taber. Mom passed aways 2 years ago and I am finally reading the books and understand the joy . You are very special and don’t ever forget that.
Dear Susan
I thought you were eerily absent, never thought you would be the one to need a “lift”. Your writings and art ALWAYS lift my spirits. It seems that you have mended yourself with meditation, good food and rest, flowers and fresh air.
I’m so happy to read this. Happy Birthday to you dear woman. Your life lights the world. So happy to have you here and now. May you be happy, safe and protected from harm, healthy and strong and live with ease. Much love, Marybeth
Ah, Susan, I wondered about not hearing from you and hoped that all was well. I know the feeling. My 54 year old son died with the first virulent sweep of COVID and my darling dog died last week. After crying for three days straight, I wound up in the hospital with a bleeding ulcer. I’m working on not reading about or watching the news. One would never know how many good, kind, generous, brave people there are around by watching the news! Also, I’m re-reading Jan Karon’s Mitford series, interspersed with a page or two from any of Gladys Taber’s books. They help us to remember Goodness. Keep up your cheer, you’ve got lots of company in your struggle, and Spring is coming.
I’m so sorry you went through such a dark time. I’m sure there are many of us crying in our hearts about these sad times. It has been an opportunity to take stock of important priorities. That you are recovering is the best news. I’m in So. IN. Spring is deep in bloom and reviving many of us. I toured the masses of bluebells we have along both sides of our little river today. They are my favorite. They always lift my spirits. May God shine His face upon you and give you peace. 💛💚💙💜❤️
Oh Susan, I had just been talking to God about you. I told him that I hadn’t heard from you in a while, and I was a bit worried. See, in my heart I knew. I knew you needed your friends. And I (we) needed you too. I’m so thankful that you have found your way out of that dreadful dark tunnel our lives sometimes passes through. Good girl, you knew light was not far off and you reached for it! Please know that EVERYthing you do has such meaning and that you enrich so many lives (mine for sure!). Never doubt it. Tell yourself the truth, when lies are whispering in your ear. Write it down so you can read it later!
I could tell you how much I loved your spring pictures, your healthy habit tips and your good news, but lots of other friends will pile on those praises. For now, please know and trust that we are here for you–even at a distance, dear Susan.
Oh, and PS, if you are looking for some wonderful UK reading, try the Patrick Taylor’s, The Irish Country Doctor series. They are wonderful, you’ll love them! Bless you–your friend, Ginny Evans
Dear Susan,
Thank you so much for sharing all the feelings, you are not alone! We have all suffered so much loss in so many ways, but I love the way you have slowly found your way back to finding and sharing the joy in your life. I think the blessing of this “dam-panic” is that it has shown us what is truly important in life. What a gift the vaccine is and so happy you have received it (me too!) Stay happy and well and thank you for being you!
So happy to hear from you. I have missed you! I’m sorry you have been ill and pleased that you’re on the mend. Thank you for opening up and sharing what so many have experienced during these trying times and giving your suggestions on how to get out of that nasty fog.
I can’t wait to hear from you again.
Won’t be too long. xoxo 💝
Susan, you are SO LOVED! Thank you, for feeling better, your sweet honesty, self-care must be #1, for all of us!🐦🐦😊💖
So happy you are back but so sorry for your heartache of the past few months. Please know that your words are so warm, comforting and cozy to so many and you spread immense joy through your stories, drawings and recipes. Be well and take care of you! Thank you for what you do. Xo
Thanks so much for sharing. I was beginning to wonder about not hearing from
you. So glad that you were able to bring yourself back. I’m sure that most of us have similar experiences to share. It just decends on you all of a sudden! Hopefully those who needed help getting through this were able to get it.
Welcome back!
Oh Susan, I’m so glad you’re feeling better. Last year you were a bright spot, bringing us joy and reminders of the beauty in this hard life. I pray that your heart will continue to be encouraged. God is the source of all hope. He is working, even when we can’t see it, and He is for us. Much love to you.
Blessings, Susan! So happy you are doing better and thank you for sharing your
“journey” with us. I wanted to warn you that The Splendid and the Vile is very good but might not be the best choice when the spirit needs uplifting if you know what I mean. I plan to put the book you recommended on my library list. Thanks and lots of love and best wishes sent your way.
Oh, Susan…this pandemic has been so hard on all of us! I’m so sorry to hear that you went through a difficult, depressing time, but I can relate. Please know that you’re not alone and there’s a lot of people out here in the world that love you, even if we don’t know you personally.
Thank you for being honest about how you’ve been feeling. I think it’s healing not only for yourself, but helps others, too. We know we’re not alone. And yes, even doing small things around the house helps. Cleaning the kitchen. Changing out the rugs. Making a cake. I love your kitchen, by the way. It is so welcoming and charming. I wish I could visit with you at the table over a cup of tea and a piece of your delicious cake!
Much love and a big hug,
Melanie
So, so glad you are feeling better and getting aSpring back in your step! Thank you for always sharing your optimism with us and spreading a bit of sunshine around! I love the idea of your dahlia garden and can’t wait to see pictures! God Bless!
Oh, my dear Susan, I am so happy to hear you are recovering. My heart goes out to you, our dear worrier. You are our “Keep Your Chin Up” person, always with beautiful sayings, and wonderful everything. I am sure this damn/panic is at the core of this. People need people. We wander in our loneliness and are assailed with news that is disheartening. Today we learned of the passing of Prince Phillip. And now we worry about the Queen. Keep safe, much love.
I’m worried about her too, but she’s AMAZING. I have faith in her.💖 She’s a keep your chin up person too!
We think we are having a hard time….think of the Queen….all that she has been through. Unless you are in your 90’s…..I’m not sure we can comprehend the hardships the British and others had to endure in those years. I just watched a documentary on “Audrey Hepburn” Wow…..makes you think about all the Blessings we have and rethink our complaints.
Anyway, we keep positive and going forward.
Cheers
Jan from Northern CA
So many wonderful books detailing the history of WWII … we’re reading the Splendid and the Vile right now and it’s a heaven book! Gives you so much understanding. 💞
Thank you for your honesty, as usual. The past year has been difficult for everyone in so many unique ways. Meditation and self care are so important. Your reminder is so important. Thank you.
This came at such a perfect time for me – I’ve been feeling so lost lately when in fact I shouldn’t. We have a new grand baby and thankfully we are all in good health, but COVID has really done a number on me. Thank you for sharing your experience, it helps so much to know that I’m not alone and there is a light at the end of this tunnel. ❤️
Susan, I was delighted to find you in my email today. 😊 Welcome back, I truly missed you. I too have been anxious and depressed since March 2020. I never expected to travel again due to the pandemic, but when I read about the possibility of sailing with you next year on the Queen Mary I am now having second thoughts. Maybe I can treat myself to a vacation and have something to look forward to next year. Wow, I never expected to feel hopeful about any travel again. Are you suggesting just a crossing to Southampton as a group and then we go our merry way or an entire planned inclusive package? Thank you for brightening my day and rekindling my spirit.
Ohhh so grateful you are better! Thanking God that you allowed others to help you! Thank you for all you generously give to your readers❤️
Ah, Susan, so sorry you fell into the doldrums, too. Yay for acupuncture and friends. And spring and vaccines! Thank you for your openness, and for the inspiration of your words today.
I’m very glad that you’re feeling happier again, Susan! Thank you for your honest sharing, and your lovely thoughts.
Oh my, I have missed you. And yes I worried that something was wrong with you .I sent a little prayer your way❤️You bring so much joy into my life when I open my email and there you are…..bless you for finding your healing journey. We need your words and the light you bring to so many people who love you from afar.
Ah, Susan. I just love your human-ness and willingness to allow your followers to see it so fully. So many of us have experienced similar times which you described so incredibly well. Thank you for such a wonderful telling of the process of rising back up. I have been using the app “Insight Timer” with the same iPods you discovered for my meditations. It is an incredible resource insighttimer.com/ and with the premium version, you also have access to unlimited courses. My husband and I sit each morning meditating by using these courses. So dear woman, may you be well, and may you be at peace. Your girlfriend in Solvang, Judy.
Thank you for this wonderful blog post! I knew we would hear from you when you were ready. I am so happy both you and Joe are doing well. Guess we all feel like we are “hanging in there”. My best to you both and continue on your journey back to your lovely self!
Love, Tana
It’s bout time! Since I last saw you, I’ve fallen off the curb, gone to LA and now have a bionic arm. I have 6” pieces of titanium in upper arm and in the lower arm and am sporting a new plastic elbow that works great on its own hinge! My funny bone was moved from its original position to the front of my elbow now! So, you can see I’ve been really really busy. Yep, still in therapy and in spite of a 3 car pile up where I was the passenger, I’m still here and kicking! So, yes I e missed your stories and your positive sunny self. Covid is going to disappear one day and it will just be a memory. Sure love hugs folks ❤️
Susan -I have missed your blog & hoped all was well . Understandably so many of us have felt this low grade depression …months of uncertainty -nothing but bad news —grandchildren afraid to see grandparents for fear of infecting them inadvertently—so many losses . Loss of family members-loss of jobs -loss of the ability to work -not being an “ essential worker”…the list goes on & on . But yes it’s a sigh of relief this spring of receiving our. COVID-19 VACCINES—I too cried & whispered a prayer thanking all the scientists-the researchers that finally brought these vaccines to us . So grateful for the hope it is now bringing this hurting world . Keep doing all that brings your heart joy …we need your sunshine that you bring us !
Penny from Mt.Rose
I have found myself in the dumps too during this crazy mess of 13 months. It’s hard not to. I have been diving into Gaither Hymns, since I miss large congregational singing. We have small church gatherings, which is much better than zoom church. I too get busy on a project and that helps. I went through 100 years of photos that I have inherited and got them all in chronological order. I avoided it for years because I knew it’d be a long mess. But then in Late March last year, I thought NOW is the TIME. Who would even see the mess. And I posted pictures on FB and lots of people were very happy to see the old ones and thanked me. So I’m right there with you. I too can’t wait to travel. We have a hotel booked in the Maldives good until Dec. this year. We may just have to get our $$$ back because countries keep changing their minds and locking back down. But I figure this can’t go on forever. Keep your chin up, Susan. You certainly weren’t the only one. I have been surprised that I could get down in the dumps too. VERY unlike me. There are better days ahead.
So glad you’re feeling better Susan. You’ve been missed. Was worried about your health or Joe’s. It’s been a very long year missing family and friends. Finally got to visit my 90 year old aunt. Bless her she’s been so lonely. I have found praying in a grateful way has helped me. Thanking God for all my blessings instead of asking for things. It has changed my perspective on this crazy world we live in. Peace be with you and Joe. Longer days and spring weather early are helping too. Keeping you in my prayers.
WOW! So proactive and healthy! Vaccination is such a relief!! AND it’s always good to have something to look forward to!! My very best wishes to you and Joe!
Hi Susan. I started a note to you, and it disappeared! I’m glad you are back. I had an uneasy feeling that you had “crashed” after this hard year. We readers are so used to finding your beautiful positive posts on you blog – even in the midst of your busy life. Now I’m happy for you that you have given yourself permission to rest and take care of you. My mom [her b’day was in Feb. too] always ended a phone call by saying that = “take care of you.” Not to presume to say I know too some of those hard hard things you are going through, but your way “out” of the dark times is – I KNOW = the very best.
Dearest Susan, I felt like something was wrong….you haven’t missed a month posting since November 2010. Welcome back….and thank you for letting us know that even those with the happy gene can have a difficult time. You gave some great things to do to pull ourselves out of depression. I hope those for whom these may not be enough, will get professional help, which even may include medications. NO one needs to suffer alone!! You are a joy…it is so good to hear from you and know that you are on the mend. Love, Rachel
Oh my goodness Susan….I have been so worried about you….checking for your blog often….concerned. I feel like we have all been experiencing just what you just told us all about. A long year of trying to stay positive, doing what we could for others, playing by the rules etc. But, it does wear on us. You were not alone in what you were going through. I hit my wall about two weeks ago….all of it adding up, losing parents, health stuff, just stresses of life we try to get through…..trying to keep up with positiveness, hope, faith, prayers…..but just hitting that wall finally. Lucky to have a wonderful husband of 45 years….family to lean on, friends who are close enough to get in touch to say….hey, it’s been too long….are you ok? Taking stock….and coming back full circle to find that we are so blessed in so many ways… we just have to look around us. Anyway, I’m so happy you are doing ok. You made it…..I had no doubt for either of us…..as you are a strong girlfriend and surrounded by other strong independent girlfriends and I know that I will not be the first to say this to you in this blog. I’m just smiling to know you are well.
I am also soooo happy to know that my daughter and I will be on the crossing with you and Joe!! I kept that in my “positive” things to look forward to list while all this last year’s stuff was going on around. We changed our date successfully….and I think I will call Susan to let her know that we are with the Girlfriends group. How much fun this will be. I have been starting to think about it all. Well, I go to bed smiling….and will check in on you tomorrow.
HUGS!!
Cheers!
Jan from Northern CA
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 I sent your comment to Susan so she could see that we needed help making all this happen, so THANK YOU for your very helpful input. See you there!!! (my next thing is to try to make them do the Vaccine Passport thing. I don’t want us to have to wear masks on board the ship and if we’re all vaccinated, we might not have to! They’re doing one strictly British sailing this year where that is required … we need them to do it forever!).
I was right in that the “Girlfriends” would intuitively know you were in distress, and also be experiencing similar issues. We’ve got you Susan. You and we are the strong independent girlfriends who are the glue that hold our families and this world together. Yes, I hope that we can make that crossing w/o masks….ugg. I wore them for 30 years as a dental hygienist…..living through the HIV/AIDS issues and Hep B etc. Dang….never in my life did I think I’d be wearing them outside of the office. UGG.
Well, lots of dreaming to do before the crossing. Soooo excited!! It started with your first book “A Fine Romance….Falling in Love with the English Countryside”
Thank you so much for the inspiration…lol…..”It’s all your fault” this dream soon to come true. YEA!!
Cheers
Jan from Northern CA
Dear Susan,
Your post was so uplifting after these very difficult times.
Despite the passing of my beloved husband on March 13th, I feel strengthened and at peace that he is no longer suffering. We all must anticipate Spring as a season of renewal and healing.
Thank you for your inspiration.
Fondly,
Debbie Clardy
Eastampton, NJ
Hi dear Susan,
You have hit the nail on the head and I know you have written about what we are all feeling. Here in the UK we still are not able to have people visit indoors as yet and I have not seen my family in Canada for over a year but we are here to miss it and that is a good thing! Love that you are back and full of happiness for us all. Look after yourself and your lovely Joe. We love you! Cannot wait to see you when you come to Britain again…I love thinking back to that special day at Castle Cottage…a dream of mine came true when I met you and you were everything I had imagined, so thank you! I was wondering if you ever received two packages from me each containing a book? It was over a year ago now but seeing your letters in your post reminded me, I so hope you did and of course know that you must receive soo many things, but still hoping you did…you inspired me so they are a little thank you. Enjoy the world beginning to wake up again… let us hope that mankind will appreciate her a little more!
With love Chris soo
I am so sorry you have been walking this path. but GLAD you feel better. It sre is hard! On top of pandemic, I am disabled senior and grieving death of husband after 42 yrs together. I live all alone no friends or fam nearby. Not even a pet. I became quite depressed 3 mos ago and am struggling. and anxiety and it gives me nausea often severe. I cant tolerate taking the meds so it is just hard. and i have limited mobility so dont even walk much. but thank you so much for sharing this. I dont feel so alone. If Susan Branch can feel depressed, well, its no srprise that *I* am. ha..Be well and bless you Susan. Love you xo
So good to hear from you dear Susan Branch! You are not alone. 💙💚
Yeah you’re back. We were all so worried. I know just how you were feeling. I think that many of us have been having a tough time going thru this time. Reading your post today was very comforting. So glad to hear from you.
Susan, you give so much of yourself to bring comfort, joy on dark days, and love to all the people who cross your path. I know, personally, how hard it is to realize that sometimes we need help to feel joy on dark days, too. I’m so glad you are feeling better. You are a sweet inspiration. Your creativity and relish for the simple pleasures of life make me feel like I have just opened the door, after a rainstorm, taken a breath of rain, freshened air, and looked up at a rainbow. Your home is full of hyggie. By the way, I recently found some cute, little Beatrix Potter figurines made into stands for planters. Peter Rabbit, The Flopsy Bunnies are all part of the set. They have little “legs” that you put under your pot to hold it up for drainage. Too cute and inexpensive. I also recently introduced my little grandson to Beatrix Potter. He loves the animated movies on DVD. His daddy, our son, watched all of the stories on old VHS tapes. It is hard to find the original stories on DVD. Take care, dear heart.
Susan…You are loved by many. You are awesome!
Susan ~
I think I speak for a lot of my friends who’ve experienced depression and anxiety this past 13 months. We had 10 weeks of straight fires and horrible air quality in the Bay Area that was a big time depression with Covid and not being able to go outside due to such carcinogenic air quality. We’ve all suffered and the constant worry for our loved ones and families and friends from afar. I just booked my flight ( will be getting 2nd Pfizer dose on April 22nd) to Boston at end of May to see my family. It’s so nice to have something planned and to look forward to something different. I’m so sorry about your mum, so much loss and sadness. We’ve had many friends who’ve lost parents and children and couldn’t have a proper funeral. I cannot imagine we all come out of this past year but with a renewed sense of gratitude and wonder and reset for our wonderful lives that we live. Happy Spring and stay well. 💕
Glad to know that you haven’t taken ill, in the physical sense. Having similar problems and am doing PT, getting massaged, and walking. Best of luck to us all.
I knew something was wrong. I’ve dealt with depression nearly 40 years, since I was 18. Glad you’re feeling better.
Its so nice to know you’re flourishing again, busy embracing Life. Clouds are lifting, and the sun is shining!
So glad your doing better! You were missed!!!
Oh Susan,
Thank you for your sharing and your honesty, it has made me feel not so alone. As you know, I live by myself with Livvie and Silas, my 2 cats and Bixby, my dog and they are my family. This past year has found me virtually housebound except for trips to the grocery store, the pharmacy and for medical appointments. One would think that the winter, with its snow and bleakness would have been the straw that broke my (not the camel’s) back but amazingly it is just now that the true sadness has come, days and nights spent crying for, not only myself, but for everyone. I cry for the climate, for the loss of habitat for our animal friends, for the doctors and nurses and EMS having to deal with a 4th surge of the virus because some people are just too selfish to do the right thing, for George Floyd and all the people of color who came before him or followed after him, for the fires on the West coast and the hurricanes on the East coast and the tornados in the heartland. So many things, but I do feel that it will all be made right if we learn from all that has happened and use our voices to fight for what is good and fair. We cannot live in silence anymore. I am so glad that you are finding your way out of the darkness that separated you from your joy. We were worried about you but I am so happy that you were able to share this time with us because, to be honest, I thought that you were always so joyful and positive that I would find myself wondering what was so wrong with me that I found myself struggling at times to find happiness. This has been a very difficult time for all of us, showing itself in as many different ways as there are people, but to know that we are not alone in our pain and sadness makes all the difference. I love reading about the ways you have been able to come back into the world. I too love the longer days and especially look at the way the shafts of light set my living room aglow at 4:00. I love it when I take the time to hear the birds or see the buds starting to appear on my maple trees. I too want to plant more roses, hydrangeas, hollyhocks, dahlias and larkspur but here in Iowa we have to wait until at least Mother’s Day to avoid a frost but that time will soon be here. All I can say is may God bless you and all of us and may she hold us gently in her arms until we are ready to take the world on again and make it a far better place then we found it in March 2020.
All my love to you Susan and to Joe and Jack.
I completely understand the whole stress thing. I became overwhelmed with covid last year. Being a nurse, caring for people who don’t care and seeing all the ” ugly” this brought out in people was just too much. Counseling is helping me now.
First Easter with my family since 2019 and everyone over 18 was vaccinated ❤ very emotional and extremely joyous day for me. You will bounce back and continue to spread joy. Thank you for sharing and happy birthday 🎂 on Monday.
Love, Stephanie
THANK YOU, Susan. And please, please can you tell us the name of the old movie? It looks so lovely!
It’s 4am. Blink blink goes the flashing cursor waiting for more. Wait. What? Susan has been
not well? Oh my! I noticed there was nothing in March….. and I anxiously awaited a word. Something should come, but not this. I’m sorry you were not well. 😫 But I am thrilled you
are feeling better. I was sad there was no musica, somehow I look forward to it now. I understand though. I ask myself, what are the right words? What do I say? Can I help? 😳 I have not been here long you see, only since the Pandemic I believe has my connection been so consistent. You live the life of my dreams you see. And to hear of your suffering brings a flow of tears. The darkness of what has been happening is hard, and not seeing a clear path ahead is difficult too. But as we search out things that bring us light… you are that for me. You have brought so much happiness to me, thank you! I have discovered new things that bring me so much joy!! Last weekend I actually drove past Gladys’s Taber’s house! And that you started this blog with her quote made me smile! You brought her to me and I joined her group, I’ve bought one of her books and found a new joy! Thank you!! 💕 I love your stories and photos the most, but I also print your quotes to hang at work. I have your calendar on my desk and love to play your old time musica when things are slow. A time gone by but still remembered. Old Hollywood has always been a favorite of mine! Well, it’s 4:29 and the birds will soon start to sing, yes, it’s Spring! We made it you see. The Robins are it for me! I love guided meditations as well. Check out “Flow Dreaming” by Summer McStravick she is wonderful. I hope travel is allowed this summer… I am hoping to explore more at the Cape and would love to visit the Vineyard but we’ll see. God bless. Your in my Prayers. Enjoy your trip out West and your Cruise in 22. 🐇🙏🏻 One day at a time. “Inch by inch it’s a cinch. 😉 This too shall pass. 💕
Thank you for sharing! I am also working on healing from overwhelming grief and stress. Thank you for sharing what you experienced and how you are healing. I appreciate you reminding me of the things to do that will help. Thank you.
I am so happy you are getting better–I have followed you for years and have all your books, cards, calendars and you are our sunshine–thank you for always giving us a map on how to find our own happiness and create our own joy –continue sharing with us your recovery —sometimes we shatter and we have to pick up only the pieces that we want to keep–love nina
So glad to see your blog post! I was wondering when you would write again. You do make a difference for the better in so many lives. Most of them you will never know.
From Holland I wish you well Susan. You are a strong woman the way you handle it. I can totally relate to what you say for example about that EVERYTHING seems to be about money. It is sickening. This is the world as it is. We have to find peace in our own home, as you are brilliantly doing.
All the best wishes for you, groetjes from Petra
Thank Heavens you are back! I have missed you so! You just brought sunshine ☀️ to my day! Thank you! Yes, it is the little things that are the very big things to me anymore!!! We are getting close to the end of the craziness… keep on keeping on! Love to You!!! Thank you for all you do! With love ❤️ Tricia B.
Oh Susan! We are cut out with the same cookie cutter!! I could not finish reading thru the tears in my eyes. Then, right in the middle of your letter that I was TRYING to read, even tho it was before 6a.m., I received a text from my best girlfriend, that her beloved brother had passed. THIS IS HOW the entire last year has been!!! Filled with the most incredible sadness! Every single which way we turn! I have not, nor will I, watch the news. If that
Makes me ignorant, so be it. I’d rather be out cutting snowdrops, and daffodils to fill the house with—and I do.
Every single one of us reading your letter understands, and we’ve all been down this road together! YOU fill us with beautiful thoughts and words to make it better. you take the words right out of our mouths—and fill them with beauty. Thank you for being you.
Oh Susan, I think we all are feeling some of the same things. Thank goodness for the change of seasons to remind us that the world continues and there is hope.
I just read today some good advice from someone’s grandparent, “Think of hard times like bad weather-they too will pass”. Her name is Agneta Vulliet. We’ll get through this! Thank you for the book title, I think I would like it. I always love reading your posts, the beautiful photos and especially your artwork.
Susan, Thank you for sharing, sometimes we feel like we are so alone. Someday this horror will be over and we can all hug and smile, and yes we will be changed. I hope for the better!❤️❤️
I’d been looking for a new blog every day, and praying that you were well. Your feelings mirror practically every one I know, but thank you for putting into words what so many, from young to older, are experiencing, but don’t know how to say it, or what to do to get back to inner life again. May our world right itself again.
Thanks! I really, really needed this old friend😘💕
Oh, Susan, I have tears in my eyes from the beauty, wisdom and truth of your lovely post. Thank you for you. I’m rereading A Fine Romance, first purchased in 2014 at the FOGT meeting when you were the guest speaker. Fabulous, you were! This book speaks to my English heart like no other. Ninety-five % my DNA is Great Britain. I have 9 of your calendars, buy one every year, and save them all. I also adore Isle of Dreams. Many of my ancestors are from MV: the Luce, Stewart, and Merry families. Nancy Luce is my 4th Cousin, 4x’s removed, my Great Great Grandmother was Catherine Luce Remick. I descend from Daniel Stewart. Mary Perkins Bradbury is a multi-great grandmother who was accused of being a witch at the Salem Witch Trials who fortunately avoided death, although she was convicted. The many similarities we share astound and lift my heart. I have shared your blog, books, and beauty with friends, and several have recently bought your outstanding books – they are in love, too! When I finished Isle of Dreams, I concluded that your life is not exactly my life, of course, but what you love, I deeply love, too. I absolutely cherish and melt with every lovely word and brush stroke you create. In A Fine Romance your photographs, paintings, and descriptions set my heart on fire in response. I’ve never been to England, and circumstances are such that I don’t see that happening (even though your trip next May sounds heavenly), but my English/Scottish soul responds vicariously with pure enjoyment and delight. For reference, I was born in 1948 in Wichita, Kansas, but grew up in Webster Groves, MO. I have lived in IL, IN, SC and WI (which holds a piece of my heart) and now live in Hendersonville, NC, since 2002. My first husband died from cancer and the Lord blessed me with a tremendously wonderful second husband, my Patrick, in 2006. I have two grandchildren who live in Seattle, WA. I have published a couple books and am working on my poetry book, because I absolutely love writing poetry. Anyway, I just wanted you to know how much I love and adore your work, your honesty and sensitivity, the beauty you create. I love what you love. Blessings, always, Ann
I fell in love with your work over a Fine Romance, because I’ve always been an unabashed Anglophile. I fell in love with you over Isle of Dreams, because you shared your perfectly brilliant unperfectness. I’m an unsentimental introvert, but I love your stories of girlfriends and your sentimentality. I was thrilled to follow your Twitter feed because no matter how hard I tried I can never actually abstain from reading the news, and it was nice to read your patriotic appeal for compassion and equity. Your humanity and creativity are your light and I’m so glad you are brave enough to BE it.
Awww,sorry you went thru this. C19 has changed our whole world and shaken our cores. I applaud you for sharing this and feel sure that in sharing your experience, it will help others who have felt this way. There are times when we are not “ok” and it’s certainly ok to admit that. I have said with all the upheaval this past year I’ve felt like I needed a “wailing wall” like May in the book “The Secret Lives of Bees”. I just poured my angst into my prayers and also turned away from the news and lost myself in watching knitting podcasts while knitting myself. It was very therapeutic. We all must find the ways that help us take care of ourselves and sometimes that means unplugging from the world for a bit. I’m glad you found the things that work for you Susan and thanks for sharing. Also Happy Birthday Monday, it’s my birthday too! I’m going to celebrate (we’re both vaccinated) with my dear friend whom I’ve known since we were 6 years old and we’re turning 66 this year! God Bless and ENJOY your special day!
Dearest Susan. Thank you for your openness and honesty {btw, coincidentally, my upcoming blog I’m working on is similar in theme} Anyone who says everything is hunky dory is either fibbing, or just arrived from Mars. I’m glad you said safe “as we can be” in regards to our vaccines, because they are not a magic bullet as some will have us believe, but another weapon in our fight against the virus. We must still observe Hands, Face, Space, and show respect for others. I keep banging on about this! Recently, as the UK emerges, slowly and cautiously from yet another Lockdown, they’ve added Fresh Air to that list. I also found myself grieving my own dear mother during this past year. Days, weeks, then months gave me too much time on my own and too much time to think what could I have done better. All I wanted was a hug from her. I talked to her a lot, over the great divide between us. After the respiratory virus I had in 2019, I’ve been too terrified to move from my own garden. Now, the slow realisation is dawning, Covid isn’t going away any time soon, so we must gird up our loins and do what we can, safely, to carry on with whatever normality becomes. If that means wearing a mask, washing groceries, and an annual vaccine, then so be it.
Thank you, from the heart
~~~Waving~~~Deb in Wales xoxo
p.s. We’re only human, after all.
Yes we are. xoxoxo
Me too, then so be it. ❌⭕️❌⭕️
Oh how we adore you.
And the feeling is MUTUAL! xoxo
I am so glad you are feeling better. I enjoyed your blog, you expressed so eloquently what so many of us are feeling and going through as well. I pray we all come out of this pandemic, stronger, kinder and more appreciative of everything we truly are blessed with. God bless you and your family, our health care workers, and all who are quietly suffering. Can’t wait to watch your new Dahlia garden grow. Stay safe and be well.
It is comforting to know that others have the same feelings. I always feel I am alone in my thoughts. Some days being worse than others. These can be such difficult times. I thought the election negativity was the cause but thoughts didn’t go away after the inauguration. Thanks for your sharing, insights, optimism. My main go to are my grandsons. I so treasure my time with them and they give me hope. I look forward to the day of no masks, family parties, my Red Hat lady activities and more. I have to remind myself as Johnny Mercer said, “ accentuate the positives”. Be well, be safe, enjoy life🥰❤️
Dear Susan,
I know. I KNOW. And somehow knowing that you have been through makes me feel more…normal? validated? I’m not sure but it does give me comfort. Thank you for sharing your hard days so that we all may know we are not alone. Wishing for you many new creative endeavors and adventures. From one vaccinated lady, to another. xo, Jen
Don’t hide from the storm, go out and dance in the rain.
Dearest Susan, I am so glad you are feeling better. I too went through a similar thing for about a month and a half. It’s not a pleasant way to feel but slowly, every day I began to feel better. Talking helped, along with my new commitment to walking every day and enjoying the smell of the bay, listening to the birds and being on the lookout for bald eagles and pileated woodpeckers. Breathing deeply is so important. Spring has given me renewal. And, I had my first vaccine and am getting my second one in a couple of weeks. We’re also looking at a QM2 to the Caribbean!!! But best of all, to be able to hug again and share things together again will be oh so lovely! If anything has come out of this pandemic, I’m hoping it’s the ability to never take anything for granted even the simplest things. Love you lots and love to Joe and Jack. Karen xoxo
I knew something was wrong…..I was over the moon when I saw my email! You were so missed, but I’m glad you took the time for you. I think you feel so deeply because you are so connected to everyone and everything. You have special blessings to help the world. Don’t worry, we will always be there waiting for you, waiting for you to be you. Take good care of you for all of us! (I know that sounds very selfish!) Just be well and know you are loved! xoxoxoxoxo
You take care of you for me too . . . we do need each other! Thank you Sandi, I feel SOOOOO much better! No more razor blade! xoxo
Hi Susan,
I am a holistic nutritionist and wanted to mention a powerful supplement commonly used for adrenal fatigue and that is an adrenal glandular. They are adrenal glands (taken from animals) and are one of the fastest ways to build up your own adrenal hormones. AOR has a great formula. I know one can feel quite sick when adrenals are depleted. Good luck!
My acupuncturist gave me a couple of food-based supplements for adrenal fatigue, Ashwaganda and Drenamin … I also got some gummies called CALM … little things to help. She says she can “feel” (in her magical way) that they have helped. Anyway, I’m definitely better, so they must be helping! Thank you Nicole!
I was so happy to see a new blog from you this morning Susan. I had hoped you were ok. You are amazing person,recognized something wasn’t right, pulled yourself up by your boot straps and took care of yourself. ❤ I will be fully immune Wednesday 4/14! My twin brother from Colorado, whom I haven’t seen in 2 years is flying east on 4/15! Hugs galore! I visited with my 100 mother in a nursing home a few days ago – and was allowed to hug her!! She has dementia and doesn’t talk much. After a while she said she was tired and I said,”Just close your eyes Mom.” I started softly singing her favorite hymn, “Softly and Tenderly”. With her eyes still closed she very quietly sang the entire song. I had to stop singing and cried. There is definitely a light at the end of this very looong tunnel. But we made it Susan! Much love to you and Joe. xoxo
It’s so hard to express how much I appreciate the time you spend creating this beautiful blog for us. You are honest and human and truly open up to all of us on topics and feelings and emotions which we can all relate. And your home is warm and welcoming and sweet, it’s a joy to see all of your photographs. And your artwork and quotes always inspire me. I share your art with my 11 year old granddaughter, and have shown her by SB book collection, and it inspires her to draw and learn calligraphy. Please know that we are all out here…loving every moment of the words and art and photos you share with us. You are such a treasure. ❤️🦢
I am so sorry you lost your mother. I lost my mom when I was 33 years old in 1990. It took me a full year to realize that I was in a complete and deep depression. I was able to get help through psychotherapy. It took 3 yeas, but I came out of it with many methods of dealing with stress. The year has been awful for everyone, but I, too, feel we are heading for a much brighter future. Thank you for sharing your story— we need much more understanding and open communication. We need to be aware of others who might still be suffering.
Hi Susan! Welcome back😘 Have worried about where you had been. So glad you are feeling better about yourself and our world. I have been experiencing the same feelings this past year. Started to take care of myself and do the things that brought me comfort. Turning off the news has made me happier. Going out the door to get my 💉. But had to welcome you back. Missed you.
Kathleen
Oh, dear Susan, I wondered why you hadn’t written in March. I missed you! And now, as the gray clouds of Winter and the pandemic have lifted, here you are back like the fresh air of .spring, birds happily singing, flowers blooming and more. The world is right again! Sending blessings and love.
I’m so thrilled that our yoga class is re-starting April 20! I’ve missed being in my body so thoroughly! And we have a 18 day cruise to Hawaii booked for Nov.! And I’ve re-licensed as a Marriage and Family Therapist to provide pro-bono treatment to front line workers who have experience waaaaay too much grief in too short a time! So life feels back in balance for me and I’m glad you are back!
I look forward to your newsletters, Susan, and am so happy you are feeling better! It’s been a long, dark winter and a hard year for many. I’m planting pansies today!
So very happy to know you are ok… was concerned for you!
May God Continue to Bless YOU! So happy that you are feeling better each day! Sending sympathy, prayers and hugs that your Mom passed in February! What helped me when my Mom passed in 2014, was a 6 week grieving class, where we met once a week. Didn’t even know that there were classes like that to help us!?! Mine was presented by Hospice, but I understand that some churches also offer these classes. Thank you for sharing your God-given art and writing talent with us! Your art and writing inspires me and makes me happy!
Yes, the greatest of these is LOVE! Hugs and hang in there, Susan! You are doing fantastic 😘💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕💐💕😘
So happy to hear you’re getting back to your happy self! I think after the trauma of the last four years and the damn-panic, we’ve all suffered a little PTSD. We need to search out the soul soothing simple pleasures in life and use them to drown out all the depressing news and rhetoric. We can do it! Together, we kindred spirits can again be hopeful and optimistic!💕💐💕Thank you for your uplifting spirit! 💕
It IS PTSD … we’ve all suffered a bit of trauma . . . some more than others. We give ourselves permission to heal now … and bring joy back to our lives and to the ones we love. Thank you Karen, so nice to hear from you!
💕 Audio books are awesome and how I survived a long commute. I actually get most of my audio books from my local library via an app called Libby. So many books so little time. As always thank you for your real words that capture how so many of us have been feeling.
I am so glad you are feeling better and are fully vaccinated. I get my second dose of Pfizer on April 16 and could not be more grateful. I read your blog through tears as you described so eloquently how so many of us have felt this year trying not to slide into the abyss. You bring so much hope and love to the world and to all of your devoted followers. I will always be so thankful for that first book I picked up that opened up a whole new world to me. That was so many years ago I can’t even count. You have been such an inspiration throughout these years. I thank you a million times over. I am so happy to have you back and feeling well. You were sorely missed these past few months. Love to you and Joe. Please take care.
Susan, thank you for taking us on your journey! I think many people are feeling the way that you did, and it was wonderful for you to document it and give everyone a torchlight to show the way out. Also, as a Creative, time to process, recharge and regroup is very important. Aside from this, have you seen the British show Gardeners’ World? There are many options for streaming it, but it is really inspiring and just the thing right now! You would LOVE it! So much beauty.
I’m so glad to hear you are feeling better – we were worried about you! Sending good thoughts from Kalamazoo!
Don’t know why you would post a picture of your vaccination card. If you watch the news, they tell you NOT to do this. Your information can be stolen.
What information? Others have said this too, but I went to wipe the card of information, and couldn’t see anything dangerous… do you know what people aren’t supposed to see?
A couple of weeks ago, I realized I wasn’t seeing any of your inspiring tweets on my Twitter feed but I thought it was me not focusing on joyful things. While politics have turned a corner and we’re all getting our vaccines and not being abused verbally by the former White House guy, I still felt sad, isolated, and even angry at times which made no sense to me, especially since we’re “so close” to the other side of this pandemic. Anyway, my remedy has been to start eating and preparing “clean” and healthy food, especially important since I moved into my diabetic, cancer surviving 90 yr old mother’s basement to help take care of her during Covid and keep her out of a nursing home. I’m grateful she’s still here, but elder care is hard! February 27th is also a special day for us : it’s my middle daughter’s birthday- she’s in Los Angeles and I haven’t seen her except on Zoom for two years, (we’re in NY) but maybe soon, I hope! She was supposed to get married last month but they postponed once Covid hit. The day we hit that magic “2 weeks after the second vaccine dose”, my husband and & I hit the road to spend a week with my oldest daughter and her husband at their new home in MA …and celebrate Christmas in March! We were even able to invite my vaccinated son to share Easter dinner with us. (Felt strange after so much isolation!) The light is coming back after a year of so much loss!🌞🌻
thank you, susan, from the bottom of my little heart for sharing this painful time in your life. what you describe has happened to me and to every. single. one of my women friends. we have all hit bottom at some point and been so discouraged that we thought we simply couldn’t go on. does it help to know that others are in that boat with us? you bet it does! and your tale of recovery gives me hope – simple domesticity, naps, lovely books and movies all help heal the unquiet mind. we’ve had our vaccines and this coming wednesday will mark the beginning of our ‘safe’ period. my next door neighbour is coming over for coffee and spice muffins for the first time in over a year. that’s something to celebrate!
Susa, I have missed you so. I wondered why I wasn’t getting your blog. Am so sorry you were in the doldrums, but glad to hear that lightness in your words. Take care dear heart. Onward and Upward!
Glad you are feeling better. Hugs from California. Good things often come out in the midst of difficulty and I’m happy for you it seems true in your case. I’m sorry you have suffered during this time but happy you recognized you needed to get beyond it. Lots of lovely things in this blog. Thank you for sharing this. I’m certain many others are struggling as well and this will be helpful. Peace and hope.~Maureen
I don’t even know what to say, which for me is saying a lot. This is the most perfect and most needed post you have ever done, which is really saying a lot, because they are all so wonderful. But this is the one we all needed right now. I too was born a worrier. I even worry that I worry too much. Thank you a thousand times thank you. You don’t know how many of us you have probably saved from the deep dark dungeon of depression. But I’m sure it’s a lot. And sailing with you on the Queen Mary 2 – oh my! I’m giving that great consideration. Love you Susan, and again, thank you!
Of COURSE you worry that you worry too much! Perfectly normal!🤣 Just can’t allow it to sneak up on us to the point of no return! Just proves the power of our minds, for good, and for not so very good! Thank you Peggy! xoxo
Susan,
Thanks so much for this! It’s exactly what I needed.
Glad you are feeling better.
So glad! Yes, much better! xoxo
Spring is here, early, I think. Although we know that April can be a fickle month, nothing terribly cold or wet lasts that long. Spring brings with it all the new beginnings you have so beautifully shared here. I’m so sorry it has been a challenging time for you. I think we’ve all had our meltdowns and down times, some of us more than others, some times more extended than others. It has been a grueling few years and add to it the pandemic and personal losses and that stress does a number on us. I’m glad you are coming through, seeing the bright beauty that is blossoming around us. You share your deepest challenges so honestly and gracefully here that I’m quite sure your words and images will resonate with so many. Thank you for opening yuor heart and soul to us here. It helps us heal, too.
I love you Susan. Thank you for your sharing. I now I can relate to the feelings of sinking into the dark place and journey back to the light or should I say the unveiling of the light because it is always there. xo Linda (a long time follow a not frequent commenter.
I was worried about you! I’ve been in a bit of a funk myself. This has been a tough year for many reasons in this country, world. I’m happy you’re back and giving me the pick-up I needed! I miss my folks too. I sure needed her ears and voice this past year. But in a dream years ago, she said “Expect ups and downs in life on earth! It’s such a small part of eternity. Get out there and do good!” Anyway, thanks for the pick-me-up. Chin up!
Take good care of you dear Susan. Everything will be allright, one simple joy at a time, one grateful moment at a time, one little tiny step of faith at a time (and one delicious cookie at a time!). I promise. All is well.
Lots of love,
Christel, a nurse anesthetist on the frontline of the battle
Christel, who has her center completely in the right place. So happy to hear from you, and THANK YOU for this crazy last year, and for all that you do all the time! xoxoxo
…and thank you for being yourself, always! Hang in there dear Susan, there is always sunshine in the soul somewhere!
Have a lovely day, enjoy the sun!
PS: hopefully the weather on your island is much warmer than ours by the Swiss border…we got snow last week! I almost put up back our christmas tree lol (and served “raclette” for diner…)
Ha ha ha … I send you some of this: ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️
haha, so generous of, thank you for sharing your bright rays of sunshine….do you want me to send you some gorgeous sparkling snowflakes as a token of my gratitude? =) =) =)
Enjoy your gorgeous sunday Susan! ❤️❄️🌴
Actually, very kind of you, but no, I think not! Loving the sparkling dew drops just now. Can wait a few seasons for the snow to return, and then, will be grateful to see it again!
I’ve been wondering where you are. Such a beautiful, heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing . . . I love the steps you are taking to “come back.” My favorite line, “My mom and dad visit.” Cue the tears! They’re still caring for you from the other side. Much love!
Thank you Susan for your story. So many of us are having those experiences…loneliness, sadness too. I feel energized after reading your message and seeing your photos. I am reminded that although it’s difficult, there is hope. Lucky to have a supportive husband to be my strength.
Susan: I knew in my mind & my heart that there was something wrong at your end; I could just feel it. Reading your post – saddened me, but, also gave me good feelings & happy thoughts for you. How intuitive that you recognized “it” and managed to pull yourself up & out of the darkness & into the sunshine…with help of course – all kinds of help. Our minds & bodies are amazing!!!! Keep feeling better girlfriend – keep on, keepin on. Enjoy this wonderful day-a present.
I love you Susan! Thank you for your sharing. I know I can relate to the feelings of sinking into the dark place and journey back to the light or should I say the unveiling of the light because it is always there. xo Linda (a long-time follower and not frequent commenter.) corrected for typos!
Oh dear Susan,
I sobbed through your post. Still sobbing. Everything you felt and said.
You. Said. It. Right down to my mom dying March 21. I was allowed to be with her and held her hand a lot while she fought to live, for nearly three weeks. She was 98. I will not ramble on about our relationship and all the missing pieces. This is the woman who gave birth to me and four siblings. She was a good person.
Thank you for helping me to see and understand myself a little better. Also, the inspiration to do something, ANYTHING, to help myself. So I can help others.
♥️♥️ Carol